These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting events and festivals. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #money #tickets #events #festivals #development

In recent years, it has become

Change the article

apply

show examples

phenomenal to see lots of people buy

ticksts

Correct your spelling

tickets

to go to sporting events, some of them like to see football matches live from the stadiums

instead

of watching from home. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

this

development is a positive thing, in

this

essay I will discuss my point of view in more

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

Firstly

, from an economic view when fans spend money to attend

such

festivals and events, they support the economy by creating more job opportunities in

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

field.

For instance

, the ministry of

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

Sports

show examples

and entertainment gets

proption

Correct your spelling

proportion

from

tickets

Change the noun form

ticket

show examples

revenue.

Hence

, it means additional income

resource

Fix the agreement mistake

resources

show examples

for the national economy.

Secondly

, from a social view, having

this

interest to participate in these events will encourage parents to see their kids in the future like these figures or sports

star

Fix the agreement mistake

stars

show examples

Therefore

this

sentence has been said

from

Change preposition

show examples

parents to their offspring, that we would like to see you a hero in the future.

Moreover

, it creates a sense of joy and happiness in the community, when families go together to participate in any event, they always keep these memories and share emotions with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

For example

, there are many groups of youngsters from my

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

who go

show examples

to attend the weekly football match

Change preposition

with

show examples

the team of our city,

this

gathering makes us feel like one family and get along

Change preposition

with

show examples

each other. There are lots of examples we can mention here to prove that it is not a matter of spending money on buying absurd things but it is more important for individuals and society. To sum up,

this

development has many positive sides, the positive impacts of

this

issue are clear and we should support

this

development.

Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on Sun Dec 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Organising a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organising a large family event and what solutions can you suggest?
A big family is having a ceremony or small brunch nearby, planning a family gathering can be stressful. This essay would provide problems from this topic and also will illustrate practical solutions to tackle them.
4.5
band
Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?
In recent years, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of researchs questioning that certain activities are risky for people. One of the main reasons for this worrying trend is due to the fact that the lack of many necessary skills for some people. However, there are solutions readily available to tackle this issue such as the government spreading awarness to the public and limiting illeglized activities.
5
band
The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level.
Undoubtedly, nowadays, the unemployment rate has risen and as a result less career opportunities there are. Therefore, a significant proportion of graduates think of finding a temporary positions instead of entering higher education and acquiring a university degree. However, in my opinion, these two facts should not be confused because education yourself is vital not only to get a job in the future but also is beneficial for your progressing to a useful individual. So, no matter the situation which is prevailed at the job market, higher education must be supported and promoted.
7
band
Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
It has become a habit in many people around the world to work for a significantly long amount of time while prohibiting themselves from any sort of hobby. Although, having time for leisure activities is crucial as it clears the mind and afterwards individuals are more intellectually and physically productive, more often than not, people are supposed to work hard to make actual progress and succeed.
5
band
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Students will have to choose whether to continue studying or get to work after they graduated from high school. In my point of view, although both of the options have their drawbacks and shining points, I think it is more beneficial to tochoose go to college after graduation.

These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting events and festivals. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Organising a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organising a large family event and what solutions can you suggest?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.