IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people spend a lot of money attend cultural and sports events. Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is a trend among
people
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 to spend a lot of
money
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for
Change preposition
apply
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buying tickets
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 sporting
events
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 and cultural shows. Some
people
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 think that
this
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 is a positive development and it should be encouraged Others disagree with that view. Both opinions will be discussed in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things
besides
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money
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.
Firstly
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, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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damage to individuals.
However
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,
people
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 are ready to spend a large sum of
money
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 to watch their favourite
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 person playing.
Hence
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, they try to buy tickets for entering the stadium. But, permits are very expensive.
Moreover
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, some
people
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 get
a
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apply
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money
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 from
bank
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the bank
a bank
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 and they did not
to
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apply
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pay them on time. More and more individuals like to brag to their friends about purchasing expensive tickets frequently.
In addition
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, it is damage to
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
. They only spend cash and waste
of
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apply
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time
for
Change preposition
on
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this
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 kind of
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events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
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.
On the other hand
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, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
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position
Correct subject-verb agreement
positions
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impact
Correct article usage
an impact
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 on the minds of
people
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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 have a different view that spending
money
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 to
permits
Wrong verb form
permit
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to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 go to different sporting or cultural
events
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 is not
Correct article usage
a wastage
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wastage
Replace the word
waste
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 of
money
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. Nowadays,
people
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 do
bot
Correct your spelling
not
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 have enough time for relaxing. For
this
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 reason, they have
deeple
Correct your spelling
deep
depressed
Replace the word
depression
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 and stress due to increased study
peasure
Correct your spelling
pleasure
.
However
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, individuals can find these sporting and cultural
events
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 relaxing and good mood.
Spoting
Correct your spelling
Sporting
Spotting
events
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 and
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 give more inspiration and motivation to
people
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 to do better in their lives.
For instance
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, when they see their abilities. It gives a sense of
encouragment
Correct your spelling
encouragement
 to them and motivates them to be more fitness freaks like them. In conclusion, there are both sides. It
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 us more energy and motivation to study. Encourage you to
better
Add a missing verb
do better
show examples
 in your study.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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