Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today's modern world, money and appearance are one of the main things to be popular while achievements become less important.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend might be an awful instance for a new generation. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement due to the fact that a huge salary becomes the main aim for

students

Use synonyms

which is a bad habit.

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate on the reasons why

this

Linking Words

motion is terrible. The achievements become lessness for plenty of people which has a poor effect on

education

Use synonyms

and science. The main reason

this

Linking Words

community does not pay attention to how much power and energy celebrities spend to achieve their wealth.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a huge part of stars does not tell about their hard way which provides

students

Use synonyms

the

Add the preposition

with the

show examples

idea that social status is easy to reach. As the result, many

students

Use synonyms

become lazier and drop their

education

Use synonyms

which as result makes the progress of technology slower.

Besides

Linking Words

, appearance and wealth start to be the main purpose of youth which makes them more selfish and unhappy. On top of that, the cause of

that is

Linking Words

money allows people to purchase everything that makes life more comfortable and easier.

Also

Linking Words

,with glamour, they guess that everyone would love them and their life would be happier.

However

Linking Words

, many of them become more lonely due to their traits which were gained by competition for money and popularity. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

trend has an awful impact on young people

such

Linking Words

as producing

students

Use synonyms

with terrible habits and traits.

In addition

Linking Words

, that movement demonstrates a bad influence on

education

Use synonyms

and technology since the

students

Use synonyms

suppose that

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

high social status is lightweight and as the result, they do not spend much time on

education

Use synonyms

Submitted by Allazhar on Mon Dec 12 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

283 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -
In the latest years, many researchers and educators have claimed that the effective way to speed up the learning process of youngsters is through using televisions and videos. Regarding the previous experiments in this field. In my point of view, I personally disagree with this claim despite the approved advantages, therefore, this essay will deeply discuss the cons of this claim.
<4
band
Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?
Nowadays, it is clear that crimes increases significantly worldwide.In this essay , I would like to mention causes and suggest proper solutions to solve this problem.
4.5
band
Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion
With growing consideration on children's health from both parents and government, the discussion that who has right to decide children's medical care has been aroused. Some argues that it is parents' responsibility to make decisions on what medical care their children receive. In constrast, others say that it is state's duty. This essay will address both views and present my opinion on the issue.
5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Some people believe that they could learn more useful skills from teamwork rather than working individually. Although working independently has some benefits, in my perspective, I total agree with the point of view. This essay will discuss both sides of the view with some examples.
6.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or the building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people reseach this?
In recent years, there has been a growing interest among people in many countries to learn about the history of the houses or buildings they live in. This curiosity is driven by various factors, ranging from a desire to connect with the past to concerns about the future. Understanding the reasons behind this trend and exploring how individuals can research the history of their homes can shed light on this fascinating cultural phenomenon.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or the building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people reseach this?