Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

In today's modern world, money and appearance are one of the main things to be popular while achievements become less important.

Moreover

this

trend might be an awful instance for a new generation. I agree with

this

statement due to the fact that a huge salary becomes the main aim for

students

which is a bad habit.

This

essay will elaborate on the reasons why

this

motion is terrible. The achievements become lessness for plenty of people which has a poor effect on

education

and science. The main reason

this

community does not pay attention to how much power and energy celebrities spend to achieve their wealth.

Furthermore

, a huge part of stars does not tell about their hard way which provides

students

the

Add the preposition

with the

show examples

idea that social status is easy to reach. As the result, many

students

become lazier and drop their

education

which as result makes the progress of technology slower.

Besides

, appearance and wealth start to be the main purpose of youth which makes them more selfish and unhappy. On top of that, the cause of

that is

money allows people to purchase everything that makes life more comfortable and easier.

Also

,with glamour, they guess that everyone would love them and their life would be happier.

However

, many of them become more lonely due to their traits which were gained by competition for money and popularity. In conclusion,

this

trend has an awful impact on young people

such

as producing

students

with terrible habits and traits.

In addition

, that movement demonstrates a bad influence on

education

and technology since the

students

suppose that

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

high social status is lightweight and as the result, they do not spend much time on

education

Submitted by Allazhar on Mon Dec 12 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

283 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from the government than students in other fields (e.g. business, language). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT MUSIC, ART AND DRAMA ARE MORE IMPORTANT AS OTHER SCHOOL SUBJECTS, ESPECIALLY AT PRIMARY LEVEL. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?