Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, listening to singing is an integral part of
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
show examples
life. Numerous
people
confide that
music
is
one
of the significant facts, which can congregate the public from different cultures and different
ages
. I believe that there has plenty of ways to get
people
together than singing. Perhaps, in our ,society everyone has a variety of interests. In order to my opinion have a lot of
people
surrounding us, who do not use to to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
music
, because they are actually not interested in listening to
music
. If any person can not relate to his or herself overseas
music
,
then
how can a person comes into a society, which manifests
one
group of several
art
Change to a plural noun
arts
show examples
and accumulates many
ages
of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For instance
, If
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Bangladeshi
people
do not have the ability to understand a piece of
music
, which is produced by a Chinese composer, because a foreign person is not able to get unknown
music
or song.
Furthermore
, not only the reason for foreign
music
, there have more factors, which can gather
people
under
one
group.
Music
sometimes can not be able to define culture and is not able to distinguish it from other countries, because of the instruments and the way of comprising a song. I think sports can bring
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one
place from various countries who are of different
ages
and carry distinct cultural values.
For example
, in
this
modern ,time nation know about plenty of sports like popular sports like football, and it is
incredibly
Correct quantifier usage
more incredibly
show examples
impactful than
music
. When play authorities arrange a game in a prices place,
then
a big number of
people
accumulate together in
this
place to watch the match, and the surprising fact is they all are from different cultures.
This
is
one
of the best ways to know
people
and culture each other. In conclusion, I do not agree with the way of
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
culture system. Because there have a lot of best
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to know different cultures and get
one
group from
a different
Correct the article-noun agreement
different ages
a different age
show examples
ages
.
Submitted by joyzafree on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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