IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

New technologies and ways of buying and selling goods are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Technological advancement has made buying and selling items easier than ever, and
people
Use synonyms
 are enjoying
this
Linking Words
 novel experience. In my opinion, the online marketplace is one of the most innovative discoveries of our time, which has been very beneficial to
people
Use synonyms
, as they can shop from their homes but it is killing local
businesses
Use synonyms
 and making
people
Use synonyms
 lazy. Since the launch of
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
 marketplace, its popularity is constantly increasing. In the earlier days,
people
Use synonyms
 used to go out
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping but nowadays you can directly order from websites.
Therefore
Linking Words
, everybody can buy or sell
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their electronic devices,
such
Linking Words
 as laptops, phones and tablet computers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as there is no middleman or retailer, consumers benefit from getting bigger discounts.
For example
Linking Words
, we can go to Amazon's website,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the biggest online retailer and get anything we want,
such
Linking Words
 as a microwave, clothes and a phone, cheaper than the local store. So, I would agree that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 doing trade online is extremely beneficial to consumers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as
people
Use synonyms
 are trading online, it is affecting local
businesses
Use synonyms
. Due to online shopping, local shops are getting less business, which is affecting their livelihood.
Moreover
Linking Words
, during the coronavirus pandemic, a lot of local
businesses
Use synonyms
 shut down due to no income.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, new ways of trading are affecting
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
, as they are not going out of the house anymore. Due to that, their
health
Use synonyms
 is deteriorating.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 used to go out and walk if they wanted to buy or sell anything, but nowadays there are not moving from their houses to shop, which is affecting their
health
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 new ways of buying or selling
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 some negative effects on local
businesses
Use synonyms
 as well as on the
health
Use synonyms
 of the
people
Use synonyms
, it has made doing business more convenient, and shopping is now at our fingertips.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: