Some feel that individuals should try to assimilate completely to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#feel #individuals #country #culture

Culture

plays an essential role in people’s life

as well as

their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. It goes without saying that destination

culture

would be effective on the emigrants,

however

, they have their own

culture

, too. Many have argued that incorporating

culture

Change preposition

into

show examples

emigrants’

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

many

Change preposition

to many

show examples

benefits,

although

in some cases, it causes

culture

shock or

lost

Replace the word

loss

show examples

. Both sides are logical and have reasonable perspectives. Personally, I agree with both sides

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and more with cultural development. From a conserving

culture

standpoint, conforming

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

heritage

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

generation

Change noun form

generation's

show examples

responsibility,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they have to preserve their descendant’s

culture

. In terms of

essentiality

Correct article usage

the essentiality

show examples

of protecting, every

culture

contains lots of history and beliefs, and ignoring and paying no attention

Change preposition

show examples

that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

leads

disappearing

Replace the word

disappearance

show examples

all

Change preposition

of all

show examples

those magnificent mythologies.

For instance

, there

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

numerous languages in the world,

nonetheless

, nowadays, it has been decreasing.

On the contrary

, cultural development would be informed by emigrants, in which the majority part of it belongs to

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

show examples

and immigrants .

Above all

, having an insight

Change preposition

into

show examples

the

heritage

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

languages and ceremonies, benefits

to communicate

Change the verb form

communicating

show examples

with citizens and

prevent

Correct subject-verb agreement

prevents

show examples

to be

Verb problem

apply

show examples

segregated

Replace the word

segregation

show examples

and

isolated

Replace the word

isolation

show examples

. Most importantly, identifying specific local

belief

Fix the agreement mistake

beliefs

show examples

would stop prejudice.

For example

, in America cousin marriage is culturally unacceptable, but it is vice versa in Iran.

To sum up

, preservation of the history and

heritage

is a public duty.

Conversely

, there is no harm in multiculture, and there are

diversity

Replace the word

diverse

show examples

cultures in the world

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

not to mention

that all transfer to others.

As a result

, by taking

account

Change preposition

into account

show examples

their

heritage

, it would be pleased to have their cultural ritual

as well as

yours.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Dec 13 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Make sure your introduction sets a clear framework for the discussion, introducing both sides of the argument and stating your opinion.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas fully with clear explanations or arguments to support them, and provide more specific examples to illustrate your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on the logical flow of your essay by using a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively.

General

Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.

Task Achievement

Expand your conclusion to summarise both views and restate your opinion more emphatically.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.
In this contemporary year, acceptance and revision have been one of the most common and debatable issues for individuals and states for years. A part of the community thinks that the way to increase essential and beneficial consequences must be through endeavor, whereas the opinion of a few groups is that on the condition that you want to solid and relax able life you ought to possess acquiesce of a number of worse events. I tend to be on the same wavelength with the initial idea for the reasons, I will demonstrate below.
8.5
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
In recent times, the number of people who tend to run their own businesses has increased significantly. This is owing to the fact that job independence brings great benefits to the owner in terms of economic aspects and having a flexible timetable. I would argue that this trend has its own disadvantages which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
<4
band
Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?
Some teachers claim that focus on the same subject help students construction, however the others state that does not work. In my opinion, I think that student spending time on the different subjects can help their score and develop their talent, this essay will discuss both sides.
5
band
Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?
There is no doubts, that a lot of tipes of fight tournaments are broadcasted worldwide. I agree with the possition that this content should be banned from TV and, moreover, excluded from international sports competitions.
6.5
band
You recently took a long-distance bus trip and were dissatisfied with the service. Write a letter of complaint to the bus company. In your letter: Describe the specific problems you encountered Explain how these problems affected your experience Say what you would like the company to do to make up for the issues Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.
I hope this letter finds you well.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some feel that individuals should try to assimilate completely to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?

Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+