Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays , there is a popular idea relating
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
doctors ought to be accountable for guiding their
patients
'
health
benefits . In my opinion , I partially agree with
this
view and I will discuss
this
in the following paragraphs. On the one hand , it is true to say that many physicians have a large number of duties to focus and they do not have enough time to contribute their knowledge to their
patients
. Absolutely , it would be great if they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
guide their
patients
'
health
awareness,
however
,
this
can be overloaded to carry out their core functions
such
as analysing and specifying diseases .
Moreover
, their work-life balance will
also
be impacted and their capabilities can
also
be reduced .
As a result
, people
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
believing
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
and follow the guidelines suggested by surgeons.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that surgeons can suggest the most effective methods to raise their patient's
health
. Obviously , they know exactly the
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
and weaknesses of their
patients
while
they are giving treatments.
For instance
, they can advise calorie intake for individual
patients
to cure the obesity problem.
Although
doctors can deliver useful suggestions ,
patients
have to obey strictly .
Otherwise
, both medics and
patients
cannot get better
health
benefits.
To conclude
, even though medics should focus primarily on their main duties , educating their
patients
is
also
useful sometimes. In my opinion , doctors should share their knowledge without impacting their core responsibilities .
Submitted by waiphyothu007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and presents a well-developed argument for the agreement. Also, make sure to provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the link between paragraphs and provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to strengthen the structure of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic approach
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • medical interventions
  • healthcare professionals
  • consultations
  • dietitians
  • health educators
  • literacy skills
  • visual aids
  • digital tools
  • reputable online resources
  • community programs
  • ongoing support
  • patient outcomes
  • initial guidance
  • mitigated
  • follow-up consultations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: