IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In view of the fact that nowadays
development
Use synonyms
 leads to easier access and more affordable technology, worldwide
people
Use synonyms
 are often working or studying remotely from their own houses.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 trend should be seen as a negative
development
Use synonyms
 as
people
Use synonyms
 appear to ruin their work-life balance and have a lack of real
interaction
Use synonyms
. It must be highlighted that having a good work-life balance is essential for maintaining someone's mental and physical well-being.
However
Linking Words
, by working or studying from home, they often find it challenging to keep that balance since there is no real divider between their workplace and their place to rest.
This
Linking Words
 situation often results in the
development
Use synonyms
 of some negative habits,
such
Linking Words
 as procrastination or workaholic habits. When these things happen, most
people
Use synonyms
 are likely to become stressed, and their health situation is affected.
For example
Linking Words
, one of the major causes of GERD is stress.
This
Linking Words
 stress
also
Linking Words
 happens
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of social
interaction
Use synonyms
 that someone in educational institutions or workplaces commonly experiences.
Although
Linking Words
interaction
Use synonyms
 can still be done online, the experiences that are gained are different since
people
Use synonyms
 cannot physically interact yet only communicate through their computers or phones.
People
Use synonyms
 could not feel real emotions or make physical contact in online
interaction
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of socialisation
also
Linking Words
 has several negative implications for children's
development
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, most children nowadays face a challenge to develop good communication skills because they are used to interacting with their gadgets. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 technological advancement results in several advantages, working or studying online from their own houses could create distractions in someone's health condition and hamper socialisation.
Hence
Linking Words
, I am convinced that
this
Linking Words
 trend should be seen as a negative
development
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Try to create more distinct paragraphs to improve the logical structure of the essay. Each paragraph should represent a unique idea or argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transitional phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to enhance the flow of ideas and guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
Identify the task and make sure that each part, including both the positive and negative development aspects, is addressed to ensure a fully complete response.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples that relate directly to the main points to strengthen your argument and ensure that they are fully developed and persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: