IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Consumers should be forced to buy electric-powered vehicles. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#consumers #vehicles #support
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Electric
vehicles
Use synonyms
 are now trendy in most countries because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 drivers’ eco-friendly behavior and they spend less money
due to
Linking Words
 the prices of fuel
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 increased dramatically nowadays. Even though it has many advantages, I do not agree with the idea that clients should be forced to buy e-
vehicles
Use synonyms
 for several reasons which I will explore in the following paragraphs. First of all, it is true that using electric
vehicles
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of ordinary fuel cars is a good idea to save the environment
due to
Linking Words
 it releases less CO2 into the atmosphere of our earth.
Conversely
Linking Words
, It may
cause
Verb problem
apply
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
our earth in some way. The electric vehicle is propelled by a battery which has a period of time use. One day we have to change it and leave the old one. The old battery becomes electronic
waste
Use synonyms
 and If we are unable to manage the
waste
Use synonyms
 properly, it would be harsh for our planet
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 huge piles of
waste
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, taking care of electronic
vehicles
Use synonyms
is cost
Change to the active voice
costs
has cost
show examples
 much more money than people think. It cannot be carried through floods or high-level water in any circumstances
due to
Linking Words
 its limitation which can cause technical problems. My experience of using an electric car is a compelling example of
this
Linking Words
. I used to buy an e-car when I moved to the capital city, Seoul, to work because I think it will save me money. Unfortunately, Seoul at that time got flooded and my car’s motor was shut down by the water running. I phoned the centre of the car and they told me that I need to pay 1000$ to fix my car. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it’s the worst experience I have ever been through.
To sum up
Linking Words
, people should not be forced to buy electric
vehicles
Use synonyms
 because of
waste
Use synonyms
 generation and high costs to deal with.
Submitted by dream.kn6 on

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general
Consider providing more balanced viewpoints, possibly mentioning the benefits to balance out the argument, which could enhance the depth of the essay.
task response
Expand on how consumers can manage e-waste better or include alternative solutions to the problem posed.
coherence cohesion
Make transitions between paragraphs smoother to improve the flow of the essay.
task response
The essay presents a clear stance against forcing consumers to buy electric vehicles, with specific reasons and examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, framing the argument well.
task response
The second paragraph provides a clear example from personal experience, effectively illustrating the point about cost.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • innovation
  • sustainable
  • fossil fuels
  • renewable energy
  • economic implications
  • financial burden
  • government subsidies
  • social equity
  • mobility
  • transport accessibility
  • charging infrastructure
  • feasible option
  • combatting climate change
  • emissions
  • accelerate
  • mandate
  • disparities
  • hybrid approach
  • technological innovation
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