IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
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Some people think that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should do
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 which is unpaid in their free time is a good way to give the
community
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 some benefits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
the
teenagers
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 will obtain many experiences in communication with others and doing new things. The majority of
teenagers
Use synonyms
 need to know how to communicate with others in the best way and how to do many things.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when some
teenagers
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 volunteer to clear
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
, streets or beaches, they will feel happy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will clean their rooms to get happiness.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many
teenagers
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 should do basic
work
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 without getting
money
Use synonyms
 to
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be independent in the future.
For example
Linking Words
, when some
teenagers
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 cook at a restaurant, they will obtain
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
information about cooking
that is
Linking Words
 good for them in the next few days.
Finally
Linking Words
,
usually
Add a comma
usually,
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 many people want
money
Use synonyms
 to
work
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, but when
teenagers
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 do not get any
money
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 for their
work
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, they will normally do something unpaid. On another hand, the
community
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 receives benefits as well from unpaid
work
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, so people and
teenagers
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 who have free time have to do something for their
community
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 to improve the pleasure between others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, unpaid
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increases
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 the relationship in the
community
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will
rise
Verb problem
increase
show examples
cooperation and the improvement in their life. In conclusion, there are many opinions about unpaid
work
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 by
teenagers
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 who have free time, but in my opinion, I
concert
Verb problem
agree
show examples
 with working without getting
money
Use synonyms
 since it is important to improve living.
Submitted by hassan.alalia on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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