IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions
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It is argued that professional
athletes
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 can make more
money
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 than
than
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
other
jobs
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
 some
people
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 think it is not fair, others state
this
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 is right.
Although
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 it seems like, it is very easy what sports professionals do, they adjust their whole life
for
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to
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 their occupation. On
one
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 hand,
one
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 highlights that
athletes
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 have more income than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
jobs
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 and
one
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 says it is a situation which is not deserved. It sounds fully
exaggerating
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exaggerated
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, you just play a game and you get millions of
dolars
Correct your spelling
dollars
, leading to
people
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consider
Wrong verb form
considering
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this
Linking Words
 amount of
money
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 is not fair.
For example
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,
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
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graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
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a
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from a
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high-level university and
working
Wrong verb form
worked
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hardly
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hard
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,
however
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, at the end of the day Messi who is the greatest of all time
football
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in football
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 player,
earn
Correct subject-verb agreement
earns
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money
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 ,which
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 make in a year, in a match. To sum up,
people
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 claim that there is no right balance between
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athletes
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athletes'
athlete's
show examples
 and other
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jobs
Change noun form
jobs'
job's
show examples
 incomes.
On the other hand
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, when
public
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the public
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watch
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watches
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 a
sport
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sports
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 game, they just see the
athletes
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Use synonyms
one
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for one
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 hour of their lives, yet professionals dedicate their whole life
for
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to
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 a just
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one hour
Add a hyphen
one-hour
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 performance. They everyday get up early, practice twice a day, and eat
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 food not what they want to eat.
In addition
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, even they sacrifice seeing their families, leading to
also
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very
Add an article
the very
a very
show examples
 low possibility to manage their mental health.
For instance
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, Stephen Curry who is the best shooter in
NBA
Correct article usage
the NBA
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 league has a tight diet and
practice
Correct subject-verb agreement
practices
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 three times
in
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apply
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a day. In an interview he said, ı could not see my daughter for two weeks before the
last
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 final match so
ıt
Correct your spelling
it
 was worse than training all night.
Thus
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, being a professional is not piece of cake as other see. In conclusion, whether successful
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
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earn
Change the verb form
earns
show examples
 more
money
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 than other
jobs
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 is fair or not remains a controversial issue.
Although
Linking Words
people
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 supposed being a football or basketball player is simple,
ıt
Correct your spelling
it
 was
difficult
Correct quantifier usage
more difficult
show examples
 in terms of mental and physical health than they thought. I strongly believe that society must be
respectfull
Correct your spelling
respectful
 to
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athletes
Change noun form
athletes'
athlete's
show examples
 incomes.
Submitted by merttufan197 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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