Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

A number of parents buy their children as many toys as they wish .

This

action might have many outcomes some of them have satisfactory but it

also

comes with damage. When you purchase any game for your baby it gives them confidence and they do not get disappointed or obsessive about that plaything, therefor they do not get unhappy once they see their friends playing with the toys that he or she does not have. It not only makes them thankful but

also

generous, for entrance my nephew shares his playthings with other kids. In ,contrast

this

idea makes children spoiled and you can not control them anymore. Once you listen to everything they say and get everything they ask for you lose the game, and if you do not buy them whatever they wish for they will start to cry hard and scream loudly in order to achieve their desires. The statistics show that 78% of

Correct article usage

apply

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spoiled

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

will get depressed in their teenagehood because of course that not everyone will listen to them and they can not receive what they want easily and by crying. For

this

reason

Add an article

the reason

show examples

they become depressed. As an example my father used to accept all my requests as a child, it was very sweet and pleasant for me as a kid but when I grew up a bit my problems started, l could not contact my school teachers so I started skipping school, The older I got my problems got bigger and bigger, for

this

,reason my migraine attacks started happening when I was only 11

additionally

I became depressed . To conclude

consequently

this

idea has some wrong and right results. The advantage that I discussed was that

this

action makes your baby more confident, humble

moreover

happy,

on the other hand

for disadvantage the act mentioned in the topic makes them overindulged and it has very bad consequences

Submitted by TUTOO on Wed Dec 14 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Fully explain your ideas

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