Many urgent problems today can only be solved through international cooperation. To what extend do you agree or disagree with the statement

It has been widely claimed that pressing

issues

in the world could be fixed by solely multilateral collaboration.I disagree with the statement, and my reasons will be explained in

this

essay.

To begin

with, It might seem reasonable for many people to argue that worldwide coordination is the only

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

solution to solving high-priority problems.

This

is probably because they believe that developed

countries

might be able to provide assistance to

an underdeveloped

Correct the article-noun agreement

underdeveloped countries

an underdeveloped country

show examples

countries

on crucial

issues

such

as healthcare.Take the coronavirus pandemic,

for example

; governments of wealthy

countries

have been donating their vaccines to the impoverished ones

as well as

countries

that are incapable of producing their own vaccines.From

this

perspective,it is comprehensible why some people would have the idea that all pressing

issues

should be handled by inviting the international community to work

collaborate

Correct word choice

and collaborate

show examples

However

,I personally believe that there are several fundamental problems that could not be resolved solely by the international partnership because

issues

such

as poverty and education should be the responsibility of each state.In many

region

Change to a plural noun

regions

show examples

for instance

,unequal access to education

required

Wrong verb form

requires

show examples

intermediate attention,and it should be the government’s role to manage their revenues from taxes to tackle the situation.Assuming that each nation does not utilize its own budget to improve the living conditions of its population,there would be no point in imposing taxes on its citizens.

For

this

reason, governments should not entirely rely on international assistance to cope with their domestic affairs.

To sum up

, some believe that international cooperation is the only way to solve pressing concerns.It could be argued that several domestic

matter

Change to a plural noun

matters

show examples

like education and public health should be managed by their ministry.

Therefore

,urgent

affair

Fix the agreement mistake

affairs

show examples

countries

can be solved not only by multinational assistance but

also

by their own government.

Submitted by sirikarn.piam on Wed Dec 14 2022

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task response

Address the prompt more directly and express your stance more clearly. Make sure to provide relevant examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are presented in a logical order and that your arguments are well-developed. Consider using transition words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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