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Writing Samples
Band 6

Animals are becoming exist due to human activities on land and in sea. Why has this happen? What’s the solution?

#animals #activities #land #sea #happen #what’s
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Severe human pursuits cause
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 aquatic and terrestrial
animals
Use synonyms
 increasing their extinction on the planet.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
 causes of it and state possible solutions for
this
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 phenomenon . Probably the main factors
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the issue
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 marine debris, habitat
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
, poaching and food chain
Correct your spelling
disruption
Correct your spelling
disruption
distruption
Correct your spelling
disruption
.
Although
Linking Words
, there are landfills to burn the waste , in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 throw them away
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
ocean
Correct article usage
the ocean
show examples
 menacing the
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
 of marine
animals
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a study showed that certain seabirds eat plastic bags and go to warn that the bird population are at risk of dying out (
this
Linking Words
scientifically
Add a missing verb
is scientifically
show examples
 proven).
Besides
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, logging has endangered many
animals
Use synonyms
 throughout the world and
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
the lost
show examples
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of habitat. Many
forestes
Correct your spelling
forests
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 in Eastern Europe
destroyed
Add a missing verb
were destroyed
show examples
 by
tree cutting
Add a hyphen
tree-cutting
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 machines which caused deforestation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
people
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's violent entertainment activities
in other words
Linking Words
 blood
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 like
kiling
Correct your spelling
killing
animals
Use synonyms
 for pleasure widespread.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 elephant poaching become popular since some parts of their body is valuable and they are becoming extinct
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 in India. Another striking point is that as above mentioned hunting some species illegally and
Correct article usage
the introduction
show examples
introduction
Replace the word
introducing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
invasive one's
also
Linking Words
 result in food chain
distruption
Correct your spelling
disruption
, which is one of
listed
Add an article
the listed
show examples
 reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
dwindling
Correct article usage
the dwindling
show examples
 numbers of
animals
Use synonyms
. There are many principal solutions for
this
Linking Words
 trend.
Firstly
Linking Words
 ,ceasing to throw away rubbish into the ocean or rivers and rising awareness among citizens not to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
do
this
Linking Words
. And imposing a hefty fine
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who do not obey it and against
this
Linking Words
 rule . By implementing a rule to protect
animal
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 could save many endangered species and boost their number in wildlife again .
Moreover
Linking Words
, individuals should stop
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of foreign
animals
Use synonyms
 because they may not adopt living in other countries.
For example
Linking Words
, many lizards live in hot countries and
people
Use synonyms
 tried to carry them
Uzbekistan
Change preposition
to Uzbekistan
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 by plane and they died because of low
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
 and unsuited living conditions. To conclude, we can see that ocean trash ,
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of habitat and hunting illegally alongside food chain
Correct your spelling
disruption
distruption
Correct your spelling
disruption
 are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 origins of
problem
Add an article
the problem
show examples
, and that can be resolved only by human activities like introducing new laws , enforcing to pay a fine and restoring debris on oceans
Submitted by sevinchazimova11 on

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