Many peolpe say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others clain that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the worl of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

#peolpe #guarantee #job #course #university #education #clain #bette #work #school #gain #worl

A fair amount of the public believes that a university degree is essential to get a better job

whereas

others say that after completing secondary school one needs to start work and get experience .

however

,I partly agree with these statements and the reasons for my argument are mentioned in forthcoming paragraphs. one of the main reasons is that the more qualified individuals are offered higher salaries as they have upgraded skills which have enormous benefits to companies

.when

Correct your spelling

When

individuals study for particular professions like doctor ,engineer and scientist ,they will become specialized in

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

fields.

along with

this

,they will have advanced knowledge in these fields .through

this

, they will discover more things

such

as medicine ,cars and spacecrafts .

consequently

, the prosperity of nation will increase. Discussing the latter viewpoint,the individuals

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

start working after completing school support their families .owing to

this

, they earn some money by doing work. sometimes, the condition of certain people is not stable financially so they start working. by

this

,they not only understand the value of money but

also

their experience in work rise day by day.

simultaneously

Capitalize word

Simultaneously

show examples

,they provide some assistance with their household expenditure

Correct your spelling

as a result

, the living condition of the public will improve and

also

their siblings and children get basic necessities of life

such

as shelter, food and health .

to conclude

although

bachelor's and master's degrees are important for the economic prosperity of countries , a job after secondary school

also

plays a crucial role for the underprivileged section of society which cannot be Ignored.

Submitted by ramandeepkaurkaila1 on Wed Dec 14 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure is not well organized, leading to confusion and lack of clarity in the overall argument. The ideas should be presented in a more coherent and cohesive manner to enhance understanding.

Task Achievement

The response provides a partial answer to the question, but it lacks depth and clarity. There should be a clearer development of relevant ideas, and a more precise focus on the topic.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

indispensability
specialist knowledge
credentials
practical skills
networking opportunities
burden of student loans
immediate earning potential
digital economy
self-taught skills
lifelong learning
continuing professional development
academic qualifications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think traffic and housing problems in big cities can be solved by moving companies and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?
The advancement of technologies and globalization has lead to establishment of more companies and industries. Therefore, many people think traffic and housing problems in big cities can be solved by moving companies and their employees to the countryside.
4
band
Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity? (Write 250 words.)
In this present world, the rate of childhood obesity has been increasing. Everybody has same concern and try to find the solution for this . Therefore , this essay will discuss the major causes of this issue and provide solution in the following paragraph.
5.5
band
some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. ohters believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future , such as those related to science and technology. discuss both views and give your own opinion
There are two common views about the higher education students should study. One of these is everyone need to study a departmen according to their interests, the other is teenagers need to study a department that will get them a job in the future. This essay will analyze both of these considerations and then I will talk about my idea.
4.5
band
Some people believe that childen should be involved in making their rules while other says only adults should be creating their rules. Discuss both views and give e your opinio .
It is true that creating school rules can be a difficult task. While it is a common belief that making school rules should involve children in it, there is also an argument that opposes it. This essay will analyse both statements and express my opinion.
5.5
band
In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
It is true that an increasing number of people, especially those youngsters, are facing the problem that their average weight is rising and the relevant severe health problems appear. In this essay, it will highlight several explanations for this occurrence and propose a range of feasible solutions.

Many peolpe say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others clain that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the worl of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think traffic and housing problems in big cities can be solved by moving companies and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity? (Write 250 words.)

some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. ohters believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future , such as those related to science and technology. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that childen should be involved in making their rules while other says only adults should be creating their rules. Discuss both views and give e your opinio .

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?