IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #experiences #children #school #effect #future #life #teenagers #influence
A number of people believe that almost all educational centres ought to allow their
students
 to learn whatever they want
whlie
Correct your spelling
while
 others think that it is beneficial for them to learn subjects when they are adolescents to achieve a vivid
future
 career. From my point of view, children would be able to gain a better educational experience if they start learning from
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years of their life and
this
 essay will discuss both viewpoints in a depth. On the one hand, some people believe that if
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain opportunity has given to
students
 to study anything that they want to learn
such
 as a chance to improve their special abilities towards certain tasks
as a result
 of
this
 they might be able to build a better
future
 and
also
 these opportunities can
also
 help
students
 to make a significant amount of money by demonstrating their special abilities through the social media platforms
such
 as YouTube or TikTok.
For example
, nowadays as the internet and social media
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 becoming more popular day by day among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society while creating a number of opportunities for youngsters to show their special talent while
also
 offering a considerable amount of money.
On the other hand
, others think that it is much
beneficial
Correct quantifier usage
more beneficial
show examples
 for
students
 to choose only useful subjects
such
 as mathematics, geography and history that
csn
Correct your spelling
can
 help them to accomplish many tasks in the
future
.
For instance
, nowadays
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the jobs are related to computers
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 there is a big demand for employers who have a wide range of information about mathematics
thus
 knowing all
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 subjects which are
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
thought
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 so important.
Furthermore
, if universities control their
students
 by giving
complusory
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 tasks they
salways
Correct your spelling
always
 stay
consistant
Correct your spelling
consistent
 towards their
future
 goals,
however
, if they give
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
chance to
students
 to learn whatever they want some of them may ignore the learning process. To conclude, having weighed everything mentioned up, I can come to the conclusion
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that, it would be much beneficial for children to learn how to enhance their special abilities from
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years of their life span to achieve
brighter
Correct article usage
a brighter
show examples
future
.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: