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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment. Government funding should reflect this . To what extent do you agree

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #government
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Public health it has been a well-discussed topic recently. Many people claim that goverments should expense
money
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 for persona who cannot afford by themselves.
Nonetheless
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, Others explain these actions won´t solve problems about illnesses or different kinds of pandemic issues. Personally, I am in favour that government invert
money
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 in public medical care in specifics cases.
First,
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I believe that prevention is more important than
treatment
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 becuase it has a lot of benefits. Taking care of illness is better
due to
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 pacients don´t pay for expensive medicaments or even medical consults.
For example
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: It is well-known that many types of cancer would be cure if you take the appropriate measures.
this
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 is the case of breast cancer, there are several instructions to provent it and with the correct pills you can completely recover it.
In addition
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, you will avoid an internation in a hospital, and you may continue with your normal life without severus sequels. In the other hand, sometimes treatments are unavoidable
due to
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 the disease will become more dangerous.
Consequently
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, you must pay your
treatment
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 if you have the
money
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.
For instance
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: In poor countries people don´t have
money
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 to covert it so is impossible for them to get medical atention. So, in these situation public governments should help society through public hospitals to facilitate access to health.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 problem affects unemployment workers
thus
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 they don´t have medical care to confront a
treatment
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 if they will get ill
To conclude
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,
Although
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 Government funding should help people over treatments and it will be necessary for the development of our nations, I
also
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 think that prevention is always better than
treatment
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,
above all
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 for costing of personal atention. It is for these reasons that the advantages prevention outweight the treatments
Submitted by javiiercabrera on

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coherence and cohesion
The essay contains some relevant points, but the arguments lack coherence and clarity. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion could be more robust and the examples need further development.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the task, but the arguments lack development and the examples provided are not fully relevant or specific. Consider providing more focused and developed responses to the task prompt.
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