Some people believe that money is more important than free time for a good quality of life. Others say the opposite is true. Discuss both views. What is more important in your opinion? Give relevant examples.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is easily observed that some argue that
money
Use synonyms
is the most important factor in life while others say that having free
time
Use synonyms
to pursue a healthy lifestyle should be prioritized. I believe the latter opinion is more persuasive since free
time
Use synonyms
could vary widely according to individuals.
To begin
Linking Words
with, having free
time
Use synonyms
does not necessarily constitute a waste of
time
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, there are certain people who want to learn another skill to take an additional career. If they have enough
time
Use synonyms
for it and succeed in achieving an additional skill, not only will they get a chance of making more
money
Use synonyms
from two jobs, but
also
Linking Words
it could be an opportunity to know which is more suitable and sustainable for life.
For example
Linking Words
, there are a lot of YouTubers these days, most of whom used to handle both a company job and video editing simultaneously. Had they not had enough
time
Use synonyms
to learn how to run their YouTube channel, they would never have thought about that career. Even though in order to bring a self-sufficient life,
money
Use synonyms
undoubtedly plays a significant role, it is
also
Linking Words
an unavoidable fact that health cannot be bought. What
this
Linking Words
means is that working overtime is a major cause of many physical health problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, office workers who spend many hours sitting on a chair, not moving enough are easily seen suffering from severe back and pelvis pain. In order to solve
this
Linking Words
problem, they must be given
time
Use synonyms
to get involved in physical activities
such
Linking Words
as sports, jogging and weight training. To sum up, despite the importance of
money
Use synonyms
that every single person living in
Correct article usage
a capitalism
show examples
capitalism
Replace the word
capitalist
show examples
society, I think that free
time
Use synonyms
is of great value for both a
further
Linking Words
opportunity for another job and health.
Thus
Linking Words
, the public should consider
this
Linking Words
seriously.
Submitted by johndaegeun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: