Some people believe that money is more important than free time for a good quality of life. Others say the opposite is true. Discuss both views. What is more important in your opinion? Give relevant examples.

#people #money #time #quality #life

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It is easily observed that some argue that

money

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is the most important factor in life while others say that having free

time

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to pursue a healthy lifestyle should be prioritized. I believe the latter opinion is more persuasive since free

time

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could vary widely according to individuals.

To begin

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with, having free

time

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does not necessarily constitute a waste of

time

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First

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and foremost, there are certain people who want to learn another skill to take an additional career. If they have enough

time

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for it and succeed in achieving an additional skill, not only will they get a chance of making more

money

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from two jobs, but

also

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it could be an opportunity to know which is more suitable and sustainable for life.

For example

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, there are a lot of YouTubers these days, most of whom used to handle both a company job and video editing simultaneously. Had they not had enough

time

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to learn how to run their YouTube channel, they would never have thought about that career. Even though in order to bring a self-sufficient life,

money

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undoubtedly plays a significant role, it is

also

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an unavoidable fact that health cannot be bought. What

this

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means is that working overtime is a major cause of many physical health problems.

For instance

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, office workers who spend many hours sitting on a chair, not moving enough are easily seen suffering from severe back and pelvis pain. In order to solve

this

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problem, they must be given

time

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to get involved in physical activities

such

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as sports, jogging and weight training. To sum up, despite the importance of

money

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that every single person living in

Correct article usage

a capitalism

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capitalism

Replace the word

capitalist

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society, I think that free

time

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is of great value for both a

further

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opportunity for another job and health.

Thus

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, the public should consider

this

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seriously.

Submitted by johndaegeun on Thu Dec 15 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Some people believe that money is more important than free time for a good quality of life. Others say the opposite is true. Discuss both views. What is more important in your opinion? Give relevant examples.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

some feel that cities shold be designed to be beautiul while others feel their functionality is more important discuss both sides and your opinion

Nowadays, many people change jobs quite regularly, rather than working in the one company for their entire careers. Why do you think this is happening? How can companies keep their workers?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enroll in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?