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Band 5

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT MEN ARE NATURALLY MORE COMPETITIVE THAN WOMEN.

#people #men #women
It is true that
men
 have more physical strength and vitality as compared to
women
.
However
, nowadays
women
 have stronger empowerment than
men
. I strongly disagree with the given statement and I will explain my point of view in
further
 paragraphs. The
first
 and foremost reason which supports my notion is that in
this
 modern era,
women
 are improving themselves in a better and stronger way compared to the
last
 10 decades. To illustrate
this
, in the past
women
 rely on
men
 to fulfil their basic needs and different wishes,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
women
 did not come out to do any kind of work.
However
, at the present time, everyone knows that
women
 run
home
Change preposition
at home
show examples
 as well as
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 in different sectors to fulfil their accommodation.
Moreover
, at the time of the 1971 world war,
prime
Correct article usage
the prime
show examples
 minister of India, Indira Gandhi saved the whole nation from the war and
this
 only happened through her own words, thoughts and vital mindset.
On the other hand
,
women
 do not have as much power and strength
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
men
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
. In different transport sectors and other things where manpower is necessary, where in
this
 case
women
 do not perform well.
Also
,
women
 are considered naturally to be soft in some aspects.
However
, in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
women
 have more mental strength as compared to
men
. To sum up,
men
 and
women
 both are
gender
Change the noun form
genders
show examples
, so discrimination is not good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 anyone in
anyfield
Correct your spelling
any field
.
However
, not a single platform or scientific research has not
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
 yet that
men
 are more competitive than
women
 by genes.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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