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Writing Samples
Band 5

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#phone #years #business #phones #forms
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Smartphone
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The smartphone
A smartphone
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 is the simplest mode of connecting with family, friends, and consumers too. Due to
advance
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advanced
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 technologies, mobile engineers had made it possible for people to get in touch with loved ones and clients through cell
phones
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. Because of
this
Linking Words
, there is
drastic
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a drastic
the drastic
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 change in
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
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of
Change preposition
for
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phones
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are detrimental effects of possessing mobile
phones
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. These concerns could cause
financially
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financial
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 and
physically
Change the word
physical
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 to the community. Undoubtedly, having a phone could be advantageous for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people, but there are some demerits of using
Correct article usage
a phone
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 constantly.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in old days, it was very hard to communicate with family and clients, since Smartphones have
substitute
Change the verb form
substituted
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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postcards and
landlines
Change the noun form
landline
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phones
Use synonyms
, it has become convenient to be in touch by just using
such
Linking Words
 technology. Tradespersons can easily promote their products by using social media on smartphones.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because of innovative electronic products, it is easy to know about other
countries
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countries'
country's
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 news.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
above-mentioned
Correct article usage
the above-mentioned
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 merit points have sourced various concerns which are not beneficial for everyone. Nowadays, women do not socialize with their pioneers as these ladies usually communicate through social media sites.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are living
sedentary
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a sedentary
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life
Use synonyms
. At
this
Linking Words
 moment,
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
hesitate
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hesitates
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 to take part in physical activities,
instead
Linking Words
, they play video games on
phones
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 inactive
life
Use synonyms
 is causing fitness problems. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, one of my nephews usually stays on mobile so as to play video games and he didn’t show any interest in outdoor games
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
because of
this
Linking Words
, he has become unfit in his
life
Use synonyms
. To summarise
this
Linking Words
 essay, there is no doubt mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have made
life
Use synonyms
 easy for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who want to keep in touch with their loved ones.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some disadvantageous
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using smartphones which have made inactive
life
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion of face-to-face communication
  • social isolation
  • interpersonal skills
  • digital eye strain
  • mental health impacts
  • mobile phone addiction
  • anxiety and depression
  • prolonged screen time
  • remote work
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • emergency situations
  • immediate assistance
  • broadcasting information
  • productivity and efficiency
  • information access
What to do next:
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