IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #books #store #internet
One of the most controversial issues today relates to
Knowledge
. Some
people
 believe accumulating
information
 on the
internet
 has more advantages than disadvantages. In
this
 essay, I am going to examine the question from both points of view and give my own perspective on the matter. On one side of the argument, there are
people
 who argue that the benefits of storing
knowledge
 on the
internet
 outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing
this
 is that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 involves
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of
information
. As it is easy to access the
internet
, numerous
people
 could freely write their ideas and
knowledge
 via
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
For example
, nowadays, there are lots of websites that are used
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 uploading their experiences
such
 as blogs and cafés.
In addition
,
people
 can exchange their ideas and
knowledge
 by asking via
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. It is
also
 possible to say that learning
knowledge
 through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 can be useful for collecting
diverse
Add an article
the diverse
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
sources
. After collecting
information
 through the
internet
,
people
 can select the
type
 of
studying
Replace the word
study
show examples
 by finding the preferred
type
 of
resources
.
For instance
, there are
people
 who prefer auditorial
sources
. These kinds of
people
 tend to study more effectively
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
sounds
Change the noun form
sound
show examples
resources
such
 as videos and
audios
Fix the agreement mistake
audio
show examples
.
Therefore
, storing
knowledge
 on the
internet
 has more positive effects than negative impacts. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, it is
also
 possible to say the opposing case. It is often argued that storing
information
 on the
internet
 has more disadvantages than advantages.
People
 often have
this
 opinion since over-flowing
information
 makes
people
confuse
Wrong verb form
confused
show examples
 about using
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
sources
. It takes
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time to distinguish the proper
information
 which is related to the issue.
Moreover
, it would waste time by spending too much on separating the
resources
. According to an American research company, 70% of
people
 believe that
internet
sources
 are unreliable to use. The reason for
this
 is that
information
 uploaded on the
internet
 is often not re-examined by the writer.
In addition
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
 fake news or biased
knowledge
 which may make prejudice on the issue.
Therefore
, studying through the
internet
 has more demerits than merits. As we have seen, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no easy answers to
this
 question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that absorbing
knowledge
 via
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 still has more constructive effects than detrimental impacts. Since it is easy to access
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous amounts of
information
 and provides various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
resources
.
Accordingly
, I strongly believe that the advantage of collecting
knowledge
 through the
internet
 is much bigger than the disadvantage.
Submitted by sadness1225 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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