Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead”. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
dynamic world, many people argue that wild animals
should be conserved , while
others believe only part of them need to be protected. In my opinion, both
of those ideas bring not only benefits but also
drawbacks at the same time. This
essay would
discuss Wrong verb form
will
both
of the thoughts for natural lives over
the world.
Rephrase
all over
To begin
with, taking care of all animals
including the wild ones is mandatory based on the basic right of every living creature. Then
, this
right would need to be respected since it also
has a big role in the natural food chain worldwide. Although
it is arguable for safety reasons, be that as it may, this
application would lead to a balance
innate Replace the word
balanced
life
, such
as the tiger is a natural predator of the deer. If the number of tigers is significantly decreased, the number of deer would be enormous and could cause unbalanced conditions in the ecosystem. On the other hand
, protecting these wild creatures could be associated with raising the risk to human life
. Since most of the wilds can't differentiate their main fine dining, they tend to look at individuals as one of their sources of food as well as
their enemy.
Besides
that mind, some people seem to keep a few wild animals
,especially those who are dangerous to members of society. This
natural thought comes from their logic that always finds a way to survive their life
, even though they have to reduce the other living thing significantly. Though it could be classified as a terrible crime activity, having said that, this
could be generated as a prevention for community life
from extinction because the legal authorities could stand both
sides if have to deal with this
kind of case. Having said that, neglecting those animals
' right to growth would lead to destruct
of the ordinary food chain Correct article usage
the destruct
that
enabling the remaining living Correct pronoun usage
apply
animal
to grow uncontrollably. The extinction of tigers as the most dangerous animal for humans, Fix the agreement mistake
animals
for instance
, would lead to the enormous growth of herbivores and cause an additional issue for the farming industry.
To conclude
, both
of the ideas show equal advantages and disadvantages while
it is correlated to human life
and their role in how natural life
could keep being balanced naturally. In the future, the growth of wild animals
would
have a great impact on living things since they Wrong verb form
will
also
can be utilised as a source of meals and are economically profitable in the zoo business.Submitted by wahyu.febri097 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a moderate level of logical structure, with an apparent attempt to organize ideas. However, the progression of these ideas is sometimes unclear and can make the argument difficult to follow. Consider using clearer topic sentences and more effective paragraph transitions to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present in the essay, but they lack clear thesis statements and summative conclusions. To improve, ensure that your introduction sets out the essay's main points clearly, and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are somewhat supported in the essay, but the support is not always fully developed. The arguments would benefit from more elaboration, stronger supporting details, and clearer explanations of how they relate to the main topic. Use more specific examples to make the support for your arguments unambiguous and more compelling.
task achievement
The essay provides a response to the prompt, but the arguments are not thoroughly addressed, sometimes straying from the topic. To enhance your score, make sure that each paragraph directly contributes to discussing the specific views mentioned and that your opinion is clearly articulated throughout.
task achievement
Your ideas are presented, but the essay lacks clarity and depth, which weakens the comprehensiveness of your response. For improvement, focus on articulating your points more clearly and provide in-depth analysis rather than a surface-level discussion.
task achievement
You've incorporated some examples, but they need to be more relevant and specific to underpin your arguments effectively. Use concrete examples that are directly related to the prompt and work to illustrate your viewpoint on why certain animals should or should not be protected.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.