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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Does the advantage of this for individuals outweigh the disadvantage for the environment?

In the contemporary world, the human population is
incrementing
Verb problem
increasing
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 over the globe and so
do
Verb problem
are
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 their requirements and needs, which are having a negative impact on our environment. More and more nations are buying their own means of
commute
Check wording
commuting
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resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
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 in hazardous effects on the atmosphere. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss a few advantages and disadvantages of the above scenario until my conclusion is reached.
To begin
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 with, as the state
progress
Correct subject-verb agreement
progresses
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 in various fields, its citizens prefer to own a car
instead
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 of using public transport, which is usually sluggish
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 might waste a lot of their time. People feel more independent as they get the freedom to go anywhere at any time.
Furthermore
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, owning a car is
also
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 considered an investment that the population can rely on in case of an emergency situation.
Therefore
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,
due to
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 it being time-saving and flexible in moving around
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 like to have their own vehicle. In spite of all the pros, there are a few cons that need to be considered. A large number of motors on the roads would cause increased air pollution
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
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 in smog and global warming.
Similarly
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, the injurious fumes produced by the by-products of the fuel consumed by their engines can pose serious health risks to the community,
such
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 as asthma, allergies and other breathing problems.
Hence
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, if everyone
would have
Wrong verb form
had
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 their own
conveyance
Punctuation problem
conveyance,
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 they
are
Wrong verb form
would be
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 putting their environment
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 other human beings
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 danger.
To sum up
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,
although
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 the dangerous effects of smoke generated by these cars are making human lives difficult, having to use their own wheels
instead
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 of commuting on buses or taxis makes the community independent and saves it a lot of
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time. In my opinion, no matter how much we deny the significance of keeping a car, its positives will always outweigh its negatives.

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structure
Some sentences are long. Use short, simple lines to be clear.
content
Each paragraph should start with a clear idea (topic sentence) and keep to one point.
planning
Show both sides and finish with your own view in a simple way.
organization
There is a basic plan: intro, body, and ending.
content
You give a real talk about time and health effects.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable transport
  • convenience
  • infrastructure development
  • traffic congestion
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
  • environmental sustainability
  • individual mobility
  • quality of life
  • automotive industry
  • climate change
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