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Writing Samples
Band 4

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion?

#media #movies #fashion #advertisements #tv #programs #messages #audience #people #expansion #impacts #diversity
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Some people argue that international media often generates negative effects towards cultural diversity. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I somehow agree with
this
 statement. Focusing
first
 on the positive side, movies and dramas can share the international inclusive culture. Nowadays, various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of drama series can be seen in any country, streaming by Netflix or other
servises
Correct your spelling
services
.
The romance
Correct article usage
Romance
show examples
 story is one
of
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apply
show examples
the popular category in the past and now, but recently, more
charactors
Correct your spelling
characters
 describe as LGBTQ people.
This
 trend definitely
empower
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empowers
show examples
 LGBTQ young
generations
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generation
show examples
.
However
, some international
fashion
 brands made a bad impact
to
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on
show examples
 overseas young generations. One good illustration is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the famous
fashion
show
 conducted in the United States for decades
,
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apply
show examples
called
Add a missing verb
is called
show examples
 Victoria's Secret
fashion
 events.
The
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apply
show examples
Victoria's Secret is one of the mega underwear
brand
Change to a plural noun
brands
show examples
,
demanding
Wrong verb form
demanded
show examples
 by a lot of teenagers all over the world. The reason why
this
brand
 became
Change preposition
at a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 top of the industry was because of its
fashion
show
. The company choose top models from all over the world for their
show
,
however
, after 2018, a huge argument was provoked. The
show
coodinator
Correct your spelling
coordinator
coordinators
 tend to choose white-thin-unhealthy girls as their
show
 models. Because of
this
, Black, Asian and plus-sized teenagers received the message from the
brand
 that they were not the target of
this
brand
. In the end, since 2020,
this
fashion
show
 never took place. In conclusion, I believe some international dramas can make a positive impact,
using
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by using
show examples
 various
charactors
Correct your spelling
characters
 who have inclusive
background
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backgrounds
show examples
 and preferences.
However
, there is a risk of making the international
brand
 has
discriminating
Correct article usage
a discriminating
show examples
 culture if the
brand
 does not care about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diversity.
Submitted by marisa.thewords on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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