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Band 4

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime?

#crime #countries #world #people #trend
It is widely known that
crime
 done by young people is increasing
most
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in most
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 parts of the world. The origin of
this
 situation
stem
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stems
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 from 3 factors,
while
 several solutions can solve the problem.
Major
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A major
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 factor can be
a
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apply
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poverty that teenagers are not able to afford what they want
to
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apply
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. So
this
 will lead them to think
how
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about how
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 to earn money easily in
short
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a short
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 period
time
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of time
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.
This
 phenomenon
result
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results
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 in major crimes which
includes
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include
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 theft and burglary and
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
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 harm to someone innocent. Another cause is bad
behavior
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behaviour
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 that has already possessed them. Youngster’s first society is their family which means their parents are the role models for their children and responsible for their actions. It is obvious that childhood
surrounding
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surroundings
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 has a huge impact on whether they will be a good citizen or not. A third factor is
overuse
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the overuse
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 of social media and
fear
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the fear
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 of
miss
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missing
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 out which is the hardest problem
that
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apply
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facing
the
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apply
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society. Adolescent tends to copy each other and do things they underestimate the consequence. Turning to
possible
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the possible
a possible
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situation
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situations
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,
initial
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the initial
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 step would be to support young people to do
part-time
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a part-time
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job
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jobs
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 and earn
an
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apply
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enough income on their own. And second solution could be to introduce parents as well as
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teenagers
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teenager
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teenagers
show examples
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to
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about
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to
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 punishments
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for
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of
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for
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the
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apply
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crime
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crimes
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such
 as theft and burglary. If we took
this
 step, it would reduce the
crime
 rate and most importantly parents would try to behave differently in of their children, because
fear
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of fear
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 of their children committing
to
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apply
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crime
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crimes
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 and
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to jail.
Finally
, teenagers should cut down total hours that spending on social media and try not to
persuade
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be persuaded
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 by other’s bad
effect
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effects
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 which can lead
unexpected
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to unexpected
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crime
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crimes
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 or wrong actions. In summary, the factors of society and other people’s impact
appears
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appear
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 to be
main
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the main
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 causes. So help of
lot
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a lot
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 of people, all the
solution
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solutions
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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mentions
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mentioned
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 in the essay could be done.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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