IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently attended a conference and would like to give a presentation to your colleagues about it. Write a letter to your manager and include: • The topic of the conference •Why you want to present about it •When it could be done

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr. Smith, I am an employee of your company working in the Customer Service Department. The purpose of my writing is to take your permission to deliver a presentation,in the lounge area, on the topic How to Succeed in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Teamwork, which was explained during
conference
Correct article usage
the conference
show examples
. The significance of presenting on
this
Linking Words
 topic is to make everyone aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the issues that usually get encountered during group work, and how to overcome
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most of the tasks in
this
Linking Words
 organization need group discussions, which is definitely a requirement of every customer service job;
therefore
Linking Words
, suggestions from co-workers would be helpful to satisfy clients. I would really appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could allow me to present it.
Although
Linking Words
 the topic of discussion is about an hour, I would cover it within 20 minutes right after the break time, when everyone would be quite refreshed. Please let me know about your decision at your earliest convenience. Yours faithfully, Gagan

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of your letter.
task response
Make sure to proofread for minor punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas.
task response
Your intention to present important information and its relevance to the workplace is clearly stated.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is structured well with clear paragraphs and a logical progression of ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: