IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently attended a conference and would like to give a presentation to your colleagues about it. Write a letter to your manager and include: • The topic of the conference •Why you want to present about it •When it could be done

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Dear Mr. Smith, I am an employee of your company working in the Customer Service Department. The purpose of my writing is to take your permission to deliver a presentation,in the lounge area, on the topic How to Succeed in
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Teamwork, which was explained during
conference
Correct article usage
the conference

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. The significance of presenting on
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 topic is to make everyone aware
about
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the issues that usually get encountered during group work, and how to overcome
that
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most of the tasks in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 organization need group discussions, which is definitely a requirement of every customer service job;
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, suggestions from co-workers would be helpful to satisfy clients. I would really appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 you could allow me to present it.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the topic of discussion is about an hour, I would cover it within 20 minutes right after the break time, when everyone would be quite refreshed. Please let me know about your decision at your earliest convenience. Yours faithfully, Gagan

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coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of your letter.
task response
Make sure to proofread for minor punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas.
task response
Your intention to present important information and its relevance to the workplace is clearly stated.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is structured well with clear paragraphs and a logical progression of ideas.
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