Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

#people #children #world #work #schools #teenagers #time #subjects

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A growing number of people are of the view that pupils do not have proper knowledge about the work due to which its’ a school responsibility to make

children

have a short-term job along with having their daily school routine. From my perspective, that experience has plenty of upsides which will be outlined below. The

first

argument in favour of the opinion that I support is that having a job which a pupil is thought to choose in the

future

may show all the drawbacks it has in the initial stages so it is a great chance for a child to think about the other fields of work.

For example

, there are some situations when a person is forced by parents to choose a certain field of study

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

a student may not be interested in. Undeniably, having

such

approach

Correct article usage

an approach

show examples

at schools helps to prevent

burnouts

Fix the agreement mistake

burnout

show examples

and disappointments in the

future

among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employees as well as people can think carefully about their career choice. The

second

argument in favour of

the

Correct your spelling

this

show examples

view is the fact that school graduates usually do not have enough relevant life experience to be sure

with

Change preposition

show examples

the speciality they want to study at universities.

For instance

, pupils need a gap year to become wiser to make the right career choice.

Furthermore

, it may bring different issues

such

as having debts or

stop

Wrong verb form

stopping

show examples

thinking about

future

education.

Therefore

, intending a short time working will be

useful

Add an article

a useful

show examples

tool for

children

to help them make, possibly, the most important choice in their lives. To conclude, there are some who believe that having a short-term work experience at

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

is essential for

children

. I am totally convinced that it is

really

Correct article usage

a really

show examples

perspective

Correct article usage

a perspective

show examples

idea which would be vital for

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

future

Submitted by nejo.quol on Fri Dec 16 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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