It is important for people to take risks, both their professional and their personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives

Nowadays young generations

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

mostly like to take risks, both

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

professionals

Fix the agreement mistake

professional

show examples

and their personal lives. It affects

people

in many ways. In my opinion, I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that the of taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

outweigh the drawbacks.

However

, In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will explore both aspects and

finaly

Correct your spelling

finally

give my own opinion. On the

one

hand, critics may

pointout

Correct your spelling

point out

that,

one

of the significant drawbacks of taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

people

losts

Correct your spelling

lost

their things easily.

For example

, there is a

people

, who work

Change preposition

apply

show examples

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

stressful

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. But he got

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

salary from that

job

. But he found another

job

in another company.

This

company promised him

Change preposition

apply

show examples

gave

Change the form of the verb

give

show examples

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

salary and

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

working hours. So he moved from that

job

. But

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time later the company was closed. He losted hos

job

even. If he did not

moved

Change the verb form

move

show examples

his

job

he does not want to face

this

situation.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

peopke

Correct your spelling

people

like to play

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

game

Change preposition

for

show examples

money

. So sometimes they spent

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

money

from

Change preposition

show examples

those

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

Then

lost their

money

Change preposition

for a

show examples

little amount

Change preposition

apply

show examples

time.

Such

Casino

Fix the agreement mistake

Casinos

show examples

, bet for the games. Sometimes it affects

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

's mental stress.

On the other hand

, there are

number

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a number

the number

show examples

of arguments

favour

Change preposition

in favour

show examples

of my stance.

One

of the most preponderant

one

Change to a plural noun

ones

show examples

is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some

Change preposition

in some

show examples

moments

people

can

got

Change the verb form

get

show examples

more benefits for

stance

Correct pronoun usage

their stance

show examples

People

who won a lottery ticket. So he has a lot of

money

. So he can invest that

money

as a fixed deposit in the bank

either

Correct word choice

and

show examples

he can buy properties or gold.

Therefore

he can save that

money

Moreover

tha

Correct your spelling

the

value of those

money

oncrease

Correct your spelling

increase

woth

Correct your spelling

with

time.

Correct your spelling

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

Add the particle

to invest

show examples

invest

Replace the word

investment

show examples

for his future. Taking

risk

affect

Add the particle

to affect

show examples

people

in various ways. Sometimes

Correct your spelling

has good

concequences

Correct your spelling

consequences

and sometimes bad

concequences

Correct your spelling

consequences

However

, in

argument

Correct article usage

the argument

show examples

outlined above,

one

can conclude that despite having some drawbacks the benefits of taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

had more positive

concequinces

Correct your spelling

consequences

consequence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Submitted by harshijayalath97 on Sat Dec 17 2022

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
58Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both their professional and their personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

In nearly all science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the number?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think thid is a positive or negative situation?

Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, chldren are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?