It is important for people to take risks, both their professional and their personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives

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Nowadays young generations

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

mostly like to take risks, both

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

professionals

Fix the agreement mistake

professional

show examples

and their personal lives. It affects

people

Use synonyms

in many ways. In my opinion, I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that the of taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

outweigh the drawbacks.

However

Linking Words

, In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will explore both aspects and

finaly

Correct your spelling

finally

give my own opinion. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, critics may

pointout

Correct your spelling

point out

that,

one

Use synonyms

of the significant drawbacks of taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

people

Use synonyms

losts

Correct your spelling

lost

their things easily.

For example

Linking Words

, there is a

people

Use synonyms

, who work

Change preposition

apply

show examples

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

stressful

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. But he got

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

salary from that

job

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. But he found another

job

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in another company.

This

Linking Words

company promised him

Change preposition

apply

show examples

gave

Change the form of the verb

give

show examples

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

salary and

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

working hours. So he moved from that

job

Use synonyms

. But

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time later the company was closed. He losted hos

job

Use synonyms

even. If he did not

moved

Change the verb form

move

show examples

his

job

Use synonyms

he does not want to face

this

Linking Words

situation.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

peopke

Correct your spelling

people

like to play

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

game

Change preposition

for

show examples

money

Use synonyms

. So sometimes they spent

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

money

Use synonyms

from

Change preposition

show examples

those

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

Then

Linking Words

lost their

money

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for a

show examples

little amount

Change preposition

apply

show examples

time.

Such

Linking Words

Casino

Fix the agreement mistake

Casinos

show examples

, bet for the games. Sometimes it affects

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

's mental stress.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are

number

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a number

the number

show examples

of arguments

favour

Change preposition

in favour

show examples

of my stance.

One

Use synonyms

of the most preponderant

Use synonyms

one

Change to a plural noun

ones

show examples

is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some

Change preposition

in some

show examples

moments

people

Use synonyms

can

got

Change the verb form

get

show examples

more benefits for

stance

Correct pronoun usage

their stance

show examples

People

Use synonyms

who won a lottery ticket. So he has a lot of

money

Use synonyms

. So he can invest that

money

Use synonyms

as a fixed deposit in the bank

either

Correct word choice

and

show examples

he can buy properties or gold.

Therefore

Linking Words

he can save that

money

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

tha

Correct your spelling

the

value of those

money

Use synonyms

oncrease

Correct your spelling

increase

woth

Correct your spelling

with

time.

Correct your spelling

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

Add the particle

to invest

show examples

invest

Replace the word

investment

show examples

for his future. Taking

risk

Use synonyms

affect

Add the particle

to affect

show examples

people

Use synonyms

in various ways. Sometimes

Correct your spelling

has good

concequences

Correct your spelling

consequences

and sometimes bad

concequences

Correct your spelling

consequences

However

Linking Words

, in

argument

Correct article usage

the argument

show examples

outlined above,

one

Use synonyms

can conclude that despite having some drawbacks the benefits of taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

had more positive

concequinces

Correct your spelling

consequences

consequence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Submitted by harshijayalath97 on Sat Dec 17 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
58
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both their professional and their personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people are making new friends by using socializing network website and Internet chat rooms. Some people say that this is a good thing. Other people say that people should make new friends by face-to-face chat. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.