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Band 3.5

While some people think that art is an important subject for children to study, others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #art #children #study #waste #time
The importance of
art
 is frequently discussed. Some people consider it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
an essential
subject
 of the school,
however
, others think
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
show examples
 a non-valuable topic. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I believe
art
 is an important
subject
 for
students
. In modern days, STEM subjects are more prioritised than ever before.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 high ability
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology and engineering can let
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 gain better, stable and well-paid jobs in the future. Even a country prioritise science and math field
Change preposition
over than
show examples
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 sector.
For instance
, there is a lot of opportunity to gain
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
 sponsored by
Add an article
the government
show examples
government related
Add a hyphen
government-related
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 science, technology or
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
 field but much less chance related
art
Change preposition
to art
show examples
 subjects.
However
,
art
 is a meaningful
subject
 to develop
students
' expression, flexibility and ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
sympathy
Replace the word
sympathise
show examples
. In terms of museums, visitors are keen to imagine the painter's feelings, the backgrounds and the purposes.
This
 attitude can expand people's imagination and
also
 develop their sympathy. The ability to sympathise is definitely needed in the business field or any other situation.
Therefore
, studying
art
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age is vital for all
students
. In conclusion, I agree that
art
 is not the strongest skill in modern society,
however
, if people completely ignore
this
subject
,
students
 will lose opportunities to develop their expression and imagination.
Therefore
, I believe schools should prioritise a wide range of subjects, including
art
.
Submitted by marisa.thewords on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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