Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

#people #happiness #money #factors

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are two predictions about

money

. Some

people

consider that

money

is the most vital factor for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hapiness

Correct your spelling

happiness

, while others have

opposite

Add an article

an opposite

the opposite

show examples

statement. In

this

essay, I will explain why I somewhat agree with the former opinion.

Firstly

, these are two essential factors in

life related

Add a hyphen

life-related

show examples

hapiness

Correct your spelling

happiness

. The

first

one is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

power of making life by yourself and the

second

is basic

education

. Discussing

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

first

topic, all humans,

excepting

Wrong verb form

except

show examples

very young children, should live with

your

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own power in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

modern society. Most

people

have professional jobs to earn

money

for buying essential products, paying

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apply

show examples

rent and enjoying their hobbies.

Money

is a tool to make a living, but if

people

ignore the importance of

money

, it is obvious that they will suffer from starving. Moving on to the

second

factor, it is possible to say that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

basic

education

also

an essential factor for

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

and

hapiness

Correct your spelling

happiness

. Basic

education

is a human

rights

Change the noun form

right

show examples

and it

develop

Change the verb form

develops

show examples

people

's survival skills in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

modern society. For reference, since 2020, Afghanistan was overtaken by

Taliban

Correct article usage

the Taliban

show examples

organisation. After that,

Taliban

Correct article usage

the Taliban

show examples

let young girls inside the house and banned

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

go to school.

This

incident made a huge

protest

Fix the agreement mistake

protests

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all over the world and United Nations cut entire support to

this

country. The young female generations in Afghanistan were

scream

Wrong verb form

screaming

show examples

for their basic rights with

Add an article

a tear

show examples

tear

Fix the agreement mistake

tears

show examples

. So

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education

also

a critical aspect

for

Change preposition

show examples

human

hapinesses

Correct your spelling

happiness

happinesses

. In

conslusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, I agree with the importance of

money

because it can let

people

live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

However

, I

also

consider basic

education

Correct your spelling

show examples

important as well as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

Submitted by marisa.thewords on Sat Dec 17 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher; others think that it depends on the attitude of the students. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that historic buildings should be preserved in their original form. Others argue that this is both inadvisable and impossible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A young person will start work at your office next month to gain work experience. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter inform him/her about the work that needs to be done at the office; explain what he/she is supposed to do on the first day; suggest what he/she should bring to work.

eople are living in a “throwaway society”, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?