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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

#people #happiness #money #factors
There are two predictions about
money
. Some
people
 consider that
money
 is the most vital factor for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
, while others have
opposite
Add an article
an opposite
the opposite
show examples
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I somewhat agree with the former opinion.
Firstly
, these are two essential factors in
life related
Add a hyphen
life-related
show examples
 to
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
. The
first
 one is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 power of making life by yourself and the
second
 is basic
education
. Discussing
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
first
 topic, all humans,
excepting
Wrong verb form
except
show examples
 very young children, should live with
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own power in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
modern society. Most
people
 have professional jobs to earn
money
 for buying essential products, paying
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rent and enjoying their hobbies.
Money
 is a tool to make a living, but if
people
 ignore the importance of
money
, it is obvious that they will suffer from starving. Moving on to the
second
 factor, it is possible to say that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic
education
 is
also
 an essential factor for
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 and
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
. Basic
education
 is a human
rights
Change the noun form
right
show examples
 and it
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
people
's survival skills in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
modern society. For reference, since 2020, Afghanistan was overtaken by
Taliban
Correct article usage
the Taliban
show examples
 organisation. After that,
Taliban
Correct article usage
the Taliban
show examples
 let young girls inside the house and banned
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 go to school.
This
 incident made a huge
protest
Fix the agreement mistake
protests
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world and United Nations cut entire support to
this
 country. The young female generations in Afghanistan were
scream
Wrong verb form
screaming
show examples
 for their basic rights with
Add an article
a tear
show examples
tear
Fix the agreement mistake
tears
show examples
. So
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
 is
also
 a critical aspect
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 human
hapinesses
Correct your spelling
happiness
happinesses
. In
conslusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I agree with the importance of
money
 because it can let
people
 live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
However
, I
also
 consider basic
education
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 important as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
.
Submitted by marisa.thewords on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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