IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to some individuals, modern
people
Use synonyms
 are provided with too many
options
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument as
this
Linking Words
 tendency can be remarkably observed when
people
Use synonyms
 go shopping. To commence with, it is clear that many retailers sell a variety sort of particular items.
This
Linking Words
 is because providing consumers with a wider range of
options
Use synonyms
 is one of the marketing strategies. If companies should put an effort into selling various types of products, they can expect customers to draw attention. To exemplify, many supermarkets sell different types of daily items to beat their competitors.
Thus
Linking Words
, a variety of
options
Use synonyms
 can attract consumers, which may bring benefits to sellers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, according to other
people
Use synonyms
, choices that are made in once-in-a-lifetime are occasionally narrowed by
parents
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because many
parents
Use synonyms
 tend to impose on their offspring to engage in a certain job or pursue a particular course at school. To illustrate, in many Asian countries
such
Linking Words
 as Japan, Korea, and China,
parents
Use synonyms
 often force their children to become a doctor or a lawyer regardless of their will.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view because children can still take the option to talk to their
parents
Use synonyms
 to seek what they want to do. To conclude, even though there may be some cases in which
parents
Use synonyms
 offer a small range of
options
Use synonyms
, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 have too many selections because many companies provide customers with various kinds of items so that they can draw
people
Use synonyms
's attention.
Submitted by u6u2sg29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: