Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, kids spend many hours a day
for
Change preposition
on
smartphones
. There are several causes of this
trend but in my opinion, this
has both benefits and drawbacks.
On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why a child likes to spend their time on smartphones
. The main reason is there are a lot of interesting applications appearing on the internet, where they can used for many purposes like entertainment, education or even for creation. Additionally
, these days, parents seem under heavy pressure due to
busy work schedules so they can not have time with their kids. Using smartphones
is one of the activities that offspring like to do. For example
, my uncle is really busy at work so he buys a phone for his kid on the way to recreation without him.
On the other hand
, Using smartphones
so often may have an adverse impact on children's health like obesity, sight-shortness, or isolation when they do not spend time on other outside activities. My uncle’s son is an example of this
, at the age of 8, he gets a lot of problems with his health like being overweight, having eye strain and having no connection with other kids. Despite this
, there are various benefits if offspring know how to use it properly like they can have more knowledge about animals, and science experiments and learn many new languages. Do Nhat Nam is the one I want to say about, thank for his family educated him the
way to learn with a smartphone, he is the author of many books and has many great things like an 8.0 on his IELTS score, being invited to shows on TV and receive many medals on his education.
In conclusion, there are many reasons why children like using Change preposition
on the
smartphones
a few hours a day, but this
trend has both detrimental and beneficial effects.Submitted by huynhvinhthai236 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary the sentence structures more to avoid repetition and make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
Be careful with minor grammatical inaccuracies like article use and prepositions, as refining these can make your writing more precise.
task achievement
Using a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic can further improve the quality of your essay.
task achievement
Providing specific examples, such as personal anecdotes and references to cases like Do Nhat Nam, greatly strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Having a clear introduction and conclusion helps readers understand your main points and summarises your views effectively.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the issue (advantages and disadvantages), demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite