IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people think that zoos are not good enough for animals and they should be improved or animals must go to natural life. What is your opinion ?

#people #zoos #animals #life
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Most
people
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 believe that for
animals
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 the best environment is natural
life
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instead
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 of
zoos
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,
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moreover
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,moreover
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 there is
not
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no
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good
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a good
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 opportunity for them in cages. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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 keeping
animals
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 in
the
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apply
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zoos
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 are
mistake
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a mistake
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 because currently some
zoos
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 are not very big and it causes discomfort to
animals
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. For
exemple
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example
lion
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lions
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,
bear
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bears
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,
monkey
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monkeys
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, birds and other
animals
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.
Animals
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 need a natural environment to feel good.
Linking Words
However
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,However
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 some
zoos
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 haven't got
such
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 facilities.Even some zoo workers or
people
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 who came to see the
animals
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Correct your spelling
that
trat
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treat
 the suffering to
animals
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 For
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example
exemple
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example
 some
ciruses
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viruses
circuses
 use
animals
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 to make
people
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 laugh and in order to train the
animals
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 for a certain exercise they use Many harmful items.causing a lot of suffering to
animals
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 or depriving them of their mates in order to show them to
people
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 leads to the extinction of many animal species So I think
animals
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 should be released into the wild. Because
animals
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 are wild,
wild
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wildlife
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life
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 better for them than
zoos
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.Cuz
animals
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is
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in
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 the zoo
are
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is
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 much weaker than
animals
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 in the wild.If they are released into
Correct article usage
the wild
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wild
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wildlife
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life
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 they cannot get used to the
wild
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wildlife
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life
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 and may even die.
Therefore
Linking Words
 keeping
animals
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cages is a mistake,they should live a
life
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 suitable for them.It goes without saying that
wild
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wildlife
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life
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 is the best for wild
animals
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.
Submitted by jefnesbit on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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