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Band 2.5

Many people think that zoos are not good enough for animals and they should be improved or animals must go to natural life. What is your opinion ?

#people #zoos #animals #life
Most
people
 believe that for
animals
 the best environment is natural
life
instead
 of
zoos
,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 opportunity for them in cages. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 keeping
animals
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
 are
mistake
Add an article
a mistake
show examples
 because currently some
zoos
 are not very big and it causes discomfort to
animals
. For
exemple
Correct your spelling
example
lion
Fix the agreement mistake
lions
show examples
,
bear
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bears
show examples
,
monkey
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monkeys
show examples
, birds and other
animals
.
Animals
 need a natural environment to feel good.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 some
zoos
 haven't got
such
 facilities.Even some zoo workers or
people
 who came to see the
animals
Correct your spelling
that
trat
Correct your spelling
treat
 the suffering to
animals
 For
Correct your spelling
example
exemple
Correct your spelling
example
 some
ciruses
Correct your spelling
viruses
circuses
 use
animals
 to make
people
 laugh and in order to train the
animals
 for a certain exercise they use Many harmful items.causing a lot of suffering to
animals
 or depriving them of their mates in order to show them to
people
 leads to the extinction of many animal species So I think
animals
 should be released into the wild. Because
animals
 are wild,
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
life
 better for them than
zoos
.Cuz
animals
is
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in
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 the zoo
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much weaker than
animals
 in the wild.If they are released into
Correct article usage
the wild
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wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
life
 they cannot get used to the
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
life
 and may even die.
Therefore
 keeping
animals
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cages is a mistake,they should live a
life
 suitable for them.It goes without saying that
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
life
 is the best for wild
animals
.
Submitted by jefnesbit on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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