IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that students should be taught International news as a subject at schools. Others feel that this would be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #news #schools #waste #school #time
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Many people think that there should be
a
Change the article
an
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 international journalism subject in their education.Other
beleives
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
this
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 will waste their
child
Change noun form
child's
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 precious time.I would agree with
this
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 statement because every child has
a
Correct article usage
the
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 freedom to choose. I would like to express my views by highlighting both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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points and will
also
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 share my view in
upcoming
Add an article
an upcoming
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 essay.
Firstly
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, the main reason to
taught
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 global
news
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 school is that the students get to know about the whole world
news
Use synonyms
 . It will
also
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 help in knowing about the styles and the speaking senses that other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
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 anchor speaks. It will
also
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 help in making confidence. If any student
get
Change the verb form
gets
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 selected as
journalist
Add an article
a journalist
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then
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 they will have proper knowledge about the crimes and
also
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 describe their views and
they
Correct word choice
whether they
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any
Add a missing verb
have any
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news
Use synonyms
 or not.
For
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instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 In Delhi there was a rape case
on
Change preposition
with
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 four victims and
accused
Add an article
the accused
an accused
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 girl was burnt and there was only Ash .DGP of Delhi strictly denied to media that his
news
Use synonyms
 will not
leaked
Change the verb form
leak
be leaked
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 on channels or any other platforms because it can take place of riots in
state
Add an article
the state
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.
Secondly
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by
Change preposition
apply
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studying
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such
Add an article
the such
a such
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 type of subject can help students to achieve their goals in future
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Global
News
Use synonyms
 journalists covers many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
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 of
motivation
Replace the word
motivational
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 Speeches and successful stories of billionaire around the globe.
On the other
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hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 if any child is not interested in studying
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such
Add an article
the such
a such
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 type of subject
then
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 they must not be forced because
this
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 type of action can highly affect their Minds and there will be many high chances of depression and mental health problems .From
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
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 survey got to know that students those who studied their liked subjects
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
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 more successful.
Finally
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, I would like to conclude that every pupil
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to choose and live their life according to them.
Submitted by gauravdeswal031 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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