IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people think that zoos are not good enough for animals and they should be improved or animals must go to natural life. Do you agree or disagree?

Well, I guess most people believe that for
animals
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 the best environment is natural life
instead
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 of
zoos
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 ,
moreover
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 there are no good opportunities for them in cages. Well, if we want to keep
animals
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 in
zoos
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,
first
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 of all ,it is necessary to improve the quality of these places and feed those inhabitants on time. It is necessary to pay more attention to the size , convenience and quality of inspection of
zoos
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 . These creatures need a natural environment in order to behave freely .
For example
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 ,birds should be kept in larger and higher places and predators should be kept in larger places ,adapted to their size .
Second
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 of all ,
instead
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 of developing
zoos
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,
animals
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 should be set free . Because they were born in wildlife .They are savage
animals
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 that's why they should not be kept in captivity .And again
animals
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 in the zoo are much weaker than those in the wild. If they are released into the wildlife . They cannot get used to it and may even die. Well , my conclusion is that
animals
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 should either be brought to special modern spaces for people to enjoy and have fun watching them or they should be allowed to live freely in their own space .

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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