More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. What extent do you agree?

#people #health #life #style #medicine

In modern society, one of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

highly controversial

topic

Change to a plural noun

topics

show examples

is health problems and modern

medicine

. Some

people

suggest that

people

should

adapt

Correct your spelling

adopt

show examples

traditional

medicine

in spite of using

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

medicine

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain why I firmly disagree with

this

opinion. The

first

reason is that

people

should focus

and

Change preposition

on and

show examples

rethink

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the modern lifestyle, not the trend of

medicine

. Compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traditional life,

people

tend to eat unhealthy food and drinks,

such

as junk foods and soft drinks.

This

is because modern

people

are suffering from obesity and high blood pressure. To mitigate these symptoms, humans should change their lifestyles. These problems are not fixed only by

medicine

therefore

this

is the issue of modern habitat. Another reason is that only

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

medicine

can rehabilitate modern mental based illness. Modern

people

tend to suffer from mental health

such

as heavy depression and overworking stress. It is possible to say that these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of syndrome

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

appeared because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rapid industrialisation and modernisation.

However

, it is difficult to completely

espace

Correct your spelling

escape

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society,

hense

Correct word choice

and hense

show examples

latest

medicine

can be a saviour

preventing

Change preposition

in preventing

show examples

these symptoms. In conclusion, I strongly believe that healthy eating habitat can mitigate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical problems and

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

medicine

can rehabilitate modern mental

ilnesses

Correct your spelling

illnesses

illness

in modern society. For the reasons above, I strongly disagree with the statement.

Submitted by marisa.thewords on Sun Dec 18 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

223 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. What extent do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

You have recently started a new job. Write a letter to a friend about your new job. In your letter: - Describe the job and the company. - Explain how you feel about the job. - Discuss your future plans.

eople believe that Generation Z (1997-2007) are more dishonest than previous generationsWhat are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative

“Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”