More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. What extent do you agree?

#people #health #life #style #medicine

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In modern society, one of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

highly controversial

topic

Change to a plural noun

topics

show examples

is health problems and modern

medicine

. Some

people

suggest that

people

should

adapt

Correct your spelling

adopt

show examples

traditional

medicine

in spite of using

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

medicine

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain why I firmly disagree with

this

opinion. The

first

reason is that

people

should focus

and

Change preposition

on and

show examples

rethink

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the modern lifestyle, not the trend of

medicine

. Compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traditional life,

people

tend to eat unhealthy food and drinks,

such

as junk foods and soft drinks.

This

is because modern

people

are suffering from obesity and high blood pressure. To mitigate these symptoms, humans should change their lifestyles. These problems are not fixed only by

medicine

therefore

this

is the issue of modern habitat. Another reason is that only

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

medicine

can rehabilitate modern mental based illness. Modern

people

tend to suffer from mental health

such

as heavy depression and overworking stress. It is possible to say that these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of syndrome

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

appeared because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rapid industrialisation and modernisation.

However

, it is difficult to completely

espace

Correct your spelling

escape

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society,

hense

Correct word choice

and hense

show examples

latest

medicine

can be a saviour

preventing

Change preposition

in preventing

show examples

these symptoms. In conclusion, I strongly believe that healthy eating habitat can mitigate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical problems and

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

medicine

can rehabilitate modern mental

ilnesses

Correct your spelling

illnesses

illness

in modern society. For the reasons above, I strongly disagree with the statement.

Submitted by marisa.thewords on Sun Dec 18 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of oil drilling operations in remote locations around the world. This has brought economic benefits to some countries, though it has also raised concerns about the environmental impact of these operations. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
In the last few years, there has been a huge rise in the drilling operation process in remote areas in the world. This process gave financial benefits to some countries, while there were some problems regarding environmental effects due to these operations. Oil drilling operations in remote areas give so many economic benefits to some countries and there is no bad environmental impact because there has been so much advancement in technology in recent years that even the oil drilling operations have no bad impact on the environment.
8
band
Your friend wants to send her/his child to learn music. He/she asked you for some information about the music academy that you went to. Write him/her a letter. You should: - Describe the music school - Suggest a teacher or a class to go to - Explain why you recommend it.
I hope you are in good health. Happy to hear that you want your child to learn music and I will help you with the information.
5
band
Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest of our lives, while others believe that adult life brings more happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There has been a debate about whether one experiences the greatest happiness in their adulthood or the time through their teen brings about the happier moments. In my opinion, the joyful time spent in teenage years is the best time of one's life.
<4
band
In some places, money earned from tourism has become an important part of the economy. What are the advantages and disadvantages of replying on tourism as a major source of revenue.
Tourism has become popular across the whole globe . Hence, people visit attractive places and spend a large amount of money on them. In some sites , money earned from tourists has become an integral part of the economy. This essay will discuss the both advantages and disadvantages of depending on the tourism industry for money.
4
band
Some people believe that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in any country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Opinions are divided on whether it is better to keep skilled professional work for the country where they study, or they should have freedom to decide where they prefer to work. While each argument has its merits, I contend that the choice should hinge on the individual’s aspirations and the specific demands of their positions.

More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged. What extent do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Your friend wants to send her/his child to learn music. He/she asked you for some information about the music academy that you went to. Write him/her a letter. You should: - Describe the music school - Suggest a teacher or a class to go to - Explain why you recommend it.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest of our lives, while others believe that adult life brings more happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some places, money earned from tourism has become an important part of the economy. What are the advantages and disadvantages of replying on tourism as a major source of revenue.

Some people believe that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in any country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.