The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is an ongoing debate about whether
age
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restrictions should be changed or not.
While
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a significant number of
people
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argue that the eligibility
age
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of having a driver's licence should increase for young drivers and decrease for older
people
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, I strongly agree with
this
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statement because adolescents often don't have a sense of responsibility at an early
age
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, and a variety of illnesses prevent senior citizens from driving carefully. On the one hand, driving a car requires great consideration and responsibility,
whereas
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young
people
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often don't have these abilities
due to
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great excitement.
This
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is because they often ignore basic rules by breaking the speed limits, threatening other drivers' and pedestrians' lives.
For instance
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, in the USA, sixteen years old is enough to have a driver's licence,
whereas
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in Europe
show examples
Europe
Punctuation problem
Europe,
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regulated
this
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limit as eighteen years old because they wanted to take a precaution to reduce the number of traffic accidents.
Therefore
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, these regulations play a crucial role in increasing road safety by raising the
age
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limit for adolescents who often make irreversible mistakes with their cars.
On the other hand
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,
while
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senior citizens have equal rights to drive, they often suffer from severe illness problems,
such
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as vision and hearing issues , preventing them from driving. When they are driving with a vision problem, they cannot keep a safe distance from the car in front of them. To illustrate, in Turkey,
people
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who are older than sixty-five years old must take a test that evaluates whether their performance is eligible to drive or not.
Thus
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, these
age
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limits can provide safer solutions not only for senior citizens but
also
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for other drivers, protecting them, rather than restricting older
people
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's freedom. In conclusion,
although
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some
people
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believe that
age
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restrictions should be expanded to cover a variety of ages, I firmly maintain that driving is a task that requires responsibility and good health.
While
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there are some considerations for regulations that intervene in
people
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's freedom, these restrictions ensure road safety and a reduction in traffic accidents.

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Task response
Make your main view even more exact. Say that you agree with higher limits for young people and lower limits for old people, but that tests should also be used for each driver.
Task response
Give more direct support for the claim about young drivers. The point about excitement is useful, but explain more clearly how it leads to unsafe choices.
Task response
Be careful with facts about countries. If you are not sure, use a general example instead of a fact about the USA, Europe, or Turkey.
Coherence and cohesion
Your four-part plan is clear: opening, young drivers, old drivers, and ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between cause and result. For example: “As a result, they may drive too fast and put others at risk.”
Coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long. Split them into two shorter sentences so each main point is easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat “age limits” too often. You can also use “these rules”, “this change”, or “such laws”.
Task response
You answer both parts of the question and give a clear opinion from the start.
Task response
Your two main ideas are on topic: young drivers may take more risks, and old drivers may have health problems.
Task response
The examples support your ideas and help show why road safety matters.
Coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one clear main idea, followed by an explanation and an example.
Coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your essay.
Coherence and cohesion
The ending restates your view and links it back to road safety.
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