Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending in health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a fact that preventing from being sick is
beneficial
Correct quantifier usage
more beneficial
show examples
than
treatment
.
Governments
by increasing the budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
training healthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
and investing
on
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in
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this
sector will be benefited rather than spending on caring
and
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for and
show examples
curing patients’ people. Investing in
health
education and public awareness, help to reduce
diseases
and
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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money. Costs of
treatment
and hospitals are high in most countries,
additionally
,
treatment
has cost for
governments
too. Because
governments
want to equip hospitals with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sophisticated medical technologies and equipment,
therefore
, these tools put a huge burden on the
governments
.
For example
, the number of diabetics is increasing, in my country, while
by
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apply
show examples
awareness and education can prevent or keep the speed of incidence of diabetes or heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
.
Such
steps toward
health
education will help to reduce the cost of
treatment
and
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
of patients in near future. Several
governments
combat
against
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
diseases
such
as poor sanitation, viruses, and heart
diseases
. While prevention help to reduce the infection of
such
problems
,
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apply
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if
governments
do some actions.
For example
, some
governments
can make more parks, gyms and fitness buildings with lower costs rather than making more
health
centers
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centres
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. The more people
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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exercise, the
less
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fewer
show examples
hearth
Correct your spelling
heart
show examples
diseases
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disease
show examples
and diabetes will happen.
This
may enable by informing and educating
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
about their
health
, and above all by allocating a portion of
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
of
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to
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preventive measures to heighten
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public awareness. In conclusion, I agree with increasing the budget for educating people having a healthy lifestyle and doing preventive measures rather than spending on equipping hospitals and
treatment
.
Submitted by wenglish995 on

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Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • treatment
  • health budget
  • divert
  • health problems
  • awareness
  • healthy habits
  • behaviors
  • vaccinations
  • screenings
  • check-ups
  • early detection
  • burden on the healthcare system
  • resources
  • infectious diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • quality of life
  • balancing
  • wellbeing
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