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Band 5

Both the poor and the rich find the accesibility into university difficult? Do you agree or disagree.

#accesibility #university
Some
people
 believe that it is tough for poor and rich students to get
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education
 in universities.
However
, I
am completely disagree
Change the verb form
completely disagree
show examples
. There are 2 arguments to support why I disagree and a
counter argument
Correct your spelling
counterargument
show examples
 for why some
people
 may think it is not easy.
Firstly
,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
 is too expensive. Poor
people
 can not afford
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
univerity
Correct your spelling
university
 fees because they don't have enough money to support not only to pay tuition money but
also
univeristy
Correct your spelling
university
 accommodation fee and other expenses.
For instance
, one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
 secured
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 rank in
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 science competitive exam to get into
premium
Correct article usage
a premium
show examples
university
 but due to his poorness , could not
admitted
Change the verb form
admit
be admitted
show examples
 into the
university
. Students with sound financial
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, on the other hand,
show examples
on the other hand
 can easily pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
univerity
Correct your spelling
university
Univerity
 expenses because of their enormous funds.
Seondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, international
unversities
Correct your spelling
universities
 are unreachable to
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 their extreme talents and
this
 where
where
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
rich
people
 have an advantage.
For example
 , in my country , I see many poor students with extreme talents but due to budget
constraints
Add a comma
,constraints
show examples
 they are joining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities that
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
 not only nominal fee courses but
also
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
education
.
However
, Few countries have policies in place to identify the best talent to be in universities irrespective of their financial status so that poor and rich
people
 can easily get into
university
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
.Few developed countries have facilities to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
education
 to
poor
Add an article
the poor
show examples
 based on talent. In conclusion,
University
education
 is not fully accessible to talented poor
people
 in many countries and talented riches are enjoying
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 studies
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
unversities
Correct your spelling
universities
 and advancing their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. . Knowledge must be reachable to those who are in need irrespective of social status.
Submitted by kgpnit on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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