IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #idea #schools #person #parent #skills
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Some people believe it would be a better opinion that
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a quality guardian must be educated
from
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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college. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because being a good guardian needs some life experience
such
Linking Words
 as multitasking skills and organising skills.
firstly
Linking Words
, all colleges need to provide good academic learning for all students. Because it is really important to become a qualified student when they are completed study at college and university. A
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
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 person can easily find a career and
stable
Add a missing verb
be stable
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 financially before becoming a parent. The reason behind
this
Linking Words
 point is when they become a parent they need some capital to care
there
Correct your spelling
their
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,
children
Use synonyms
. They have to always look after
child's
Correct article usage
the child's
show examples
 health, education,
safety
Correct word choice
and safety
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 and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to develop
child's
Correct article usage
the child's
show examples
future
Use synonyms
. Those multitask knowledge that could not gain from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school it is could get from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day to-day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 experience. My
second
Linking Words
 point is organization skills are
also
Linking Words
 crucial for becoming a good mother and father. Because they need to feed them well and need supplies education materials and clothes.
Therefore
Linking Words
 we should plan how to arrange those kinds of the regularly.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 when we feed them too much unhealthy food it is lead them to dangerous
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 in the
future
Use synonyms
. ,
Linking Words
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
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 we should well organize
children
Use synonyms
's education. we would encourage them to study well and provide good sources. If we could not plan our
children
Use synonyms
's
future
Use synonyms
 we could not become good guardians. In conclusion, I believed that being a quality guardian always gets experience from daily lifestyle
such
Linking Words
 as good planning
Use synonyms
children's
Change preposition
of children's
show examples
future
Use synonyms
 and completing child's daily needs.
Those knowledge
Change the determiner
That knowledge
show examples
 can't teach in schools.
Submitted by asankabiz84 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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