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Band 4

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both point of view and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative #point
Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others,
however
, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime, in
this
 essay, I'll be discussing both views and will save my opinion to the end. For those who
sees
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see
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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prison as the solution to reduce the crime rates, I believe they
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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are just looking for the easy solutions, which is probably are not effective and cost a lot. one
one
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apply
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hand, putting convicts behind the bars for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longer times means a higher cost to accommodate them.
on the other hand
, having the
the
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apply
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prisoners locked
for
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up for
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 years would affect their mental stability and makes it harder for them to harmonize with
the
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apply
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society after their release and raises the stakes for them to break the law again, and
returning
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return
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 to the correctional system. On the other side of the debate, the people
whom
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who
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opposes
Correct subject-verb agreement
oppose
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 the extended
prisonment
Correct your spelling
imprisonment
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a good point,
first
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,first
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 they
understands
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understand
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 the main role
for
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of
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 the correctional system, which is to correct the behaviour of the convicted. correction doesn't
necessary
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necessarily
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 means spending years in
maximum
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a maximum
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 security facility, but understanding
the
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apply
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human needs and looking to the bright side inside the prisoner, and help him get over the circumstances that led him to follow
this
pass
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past
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, and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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 him the hope of a better tomorrow. From my
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I apply a technique named "Root Cause Analysis",
this
 method is based on finding out the roots of the problem and
eradicate
Wrong verb form
eradicating
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 it forever,
instead
 of chasing the symptoms.
Thus
, in order to reduce the rates of
the
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apply
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crimes, we need to remove the reasons pushing
the
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apply
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innocent people to violate the laws, if it is
the
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apply
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poverty, we shall fight
the
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apply
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poverty and provide
provide
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apply
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the means of decent living to all
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
.
Submitted by ahmedmalorabi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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