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Band 4

Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the world, and what effect does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole?

#illiteracy #concern #countries #world #effect #people #society
Nowadays, a lot of countries are concerned
carry
Wrong verb form
about carrying
show examples
 on illiteracy. There seem to be two main causes and two effects, which we will discuss here. Possibly the main clause is associated with the family’s financial background, especially poor families.
For instance
, some African countries tend to be the youngest people who prefer to work than go to school.
As a result
, they are able to give little money to parents and family, so they
have could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 buy food, water, and so on. Another well-known clause is the lack of
education
, which means to can’t afford something
such
 as kindergartens, and schools. The shortage of schools has impacted about country’s population, especially the youngest generation. The effects of
this
 problem on those can be quite normal.
Firstly
, increased the number of petty criminals and serious criminals, so the world country has been declared a dangerous country. As some people
haven’t
Rephrase
have
show examples
 enough money, minor crimes are
done
Verb problem
committed
show examples
 by them,
such
 as pickpockets, theft, and assaulting the body. The youngest move to another country after they
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
face violence, abduction, and so on.
Furthermore
, the growth of the population is caused because they can’t owner
education
. A
further
widely
Change the word
wide
show examples
 impact is,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 unemployment rate grows rapidly every year. Whenever they might be less-educated people, they can’t find a job.
Therefore
, the government
education
 system hasn’t developed for them.
To sum up
, the family’s financial background and lack of
education
 seem to be
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 causes, and they affect both the number of criminals and the unemployment rate.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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