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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Academic The number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

#tourists #caribbean #island
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The chart illustrates the
amount
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number
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 of tourists visiting a particular island of
Correct article usage
the Carribea
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Carribea
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
 between 2010 to 2017. The
number
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 of
visitors
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are
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is
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 broken down into the
one
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 who stayed on cruise
ships
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 and the
one
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 who stayed on the island. Overall,
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number
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the number
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 of
visitors
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 was significantly decreasing
through out
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throughout
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 the given time period from only
one
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million
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 in 2010 to 3.5
million
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 in 2017. The
number
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 of
visitors
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 who remained on the
ships
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 are fluctuating during the
first
Linking Words
 three years. it was started out at 0.25 in 2010 and
doubling
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doubled
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 to 0.5 the following year. Yet, it was fall back to the exact
number
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 that it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started in the year
of
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apply
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2012. In the
next
Linking Words
 years, it tend to increase annually and ended up having 2
million
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 people visiting the ship in 2017. Meanwhile, the
number
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 of
visitors
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 who chose to spend their time on the island was more than the
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 who sails on the
ships
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 in 2010, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted for 0.75
million
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. It
then
Linking Words
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 to
be
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apply
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1.5 in 2013 and plateaued until 2015, just before it decreased by 0.25 in 2016.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2017, it has
less
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fewer
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visitors
Use synonyms
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cruise
ships
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, with just 1.5
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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