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Writing Samples
Band 8

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

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The 21st century witnessed a difference in domestic role division and family status due to the alternation of social ideology. In my perspective, the advantages of these changes outweigh the drawbacks of harmony.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, the emphasis on gender equality gives rise to the parent working pattern. With the rise of feminism since the 18th century, women are encouraged to be educated and give contributions through working and achievement in the aspects of business, academia, society, culture, and even politics. The stereotype of males going to work and females being responsible for household management has been reversed which leads to the responsibility of women not being restricted to changing nappies anymore, but able to work in superior positions as managers, government officials, and even the president in the United Kingdom
in particular
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the housekeeper and child-rearing role may fall on the hired babysitter, rather than the parents. On top of that, the suppression of patriarchy encourages the value of women and children. In the past, men were deemed as the householder with the absolute power to control their wives and offspring. With feminism ideology, the original inferior position of female and youngster are valued,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, their opinions are appreciated in the family. The character of authoritarian parents who control the family strictly
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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 has altered into an authoritative upbringing, which concentrates on the view of the child. According to psychological research, approval and mutual understanding are the priority in the cognitive process and adolescent growth.
Consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the more equal domestic status gives the young an edge in terms of making decisions, critical thinking, and social ability. Some against the family conversion proposed that the changed commuting style has turned the traditional extended family into a nuclear family.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the family relocated
into
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the urban areas for better job opportunities which leaves their grandparents in the countryside.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 shift contributes to the separated clan in which the grandparents have to suffer from loneliness.
Nevertheless
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the notion of being alone is not the issue as the family member would eventually develop and have their own home. To conclude, gender role diversity and the emphasis on the female and children’s stand stimulate economic growth and benefit offspring’s development. While the feelings of the elderly should
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 be taken into consideration, a harmonious atmosphere could be achieved through regular family gatherings.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Family structure
  • Modern family
  • Extended family
  • Nuclear family
  • Same-sex parent families
  • Breadwinner
  • Caregiving responsibilities
  • Family dynamics
  • Globalization
  • Economic shifts
  • Migration
  • Child-free lifestyles
  • Cohabitation
  • Traditional marriage
  • Perceptions
  • Homemaker
  • Communication
  • Shared activities
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