IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many wrongdoers commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often noticed that the culprits, in spite of serving their
jail
Use synonyms
 term, commit a crime and make it a lifelong activity. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 behaviour, and our community must derive a master plan to minimize
such
Linking Words
 incidents. There are several factors that force people into wrongdoing.
Firstly
Linking Words
, an individual who is out of
jail
Use synonyms
 will find it difficult to find a job. Employers will be hesitant to offer
jobs
Use synonyms
 to
such
Linking Words
 people.
For instance
Linking Words
, most corporates, as part of the recruitment, seek permission to perform a background check.
As a result
Linking Words
,
individuals
Use synonyms
 with a criminal background will be denied
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
society
Use synonyms
 portrays
such
Linking Words
individuals
Use synonyms
 as bad people, even without assessing the reason why the person went behind the bars. Eventually, due to the restricted environment, these
individuals
Use synonyms
 are motivated to perform crimes for survival.
Society
Use synonyms
, along with the offender plays a vital role in eradicating
this
Linking Words
 scenario.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there must be training within the
jail
Use synonyms
 to develop skills, that would make them capable to find
jobs
Use synonyms
 with ease.
In addition
Linking Words
,
jobs
Use synonyms
 that require monotonous work can be introduced inside
jail
Use synonyms
 campuses as these initiatives will help
jail
Use synonyms
 dwellers to make money.
Moreover
Linking Words
, training and counselling can be planned inside the
jail
Use synonyms
, to improve the mindset of the offenders.
Therefore
Linking Words
society
Use synonyms
 and
individuals
Use synonyms
 must work together to ensure that life after punishment is more peaceful. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 it is evident that one-time offender commits repeated crimes, I believe that communities must work closely with criminals and bring them to the correct path. There must be action plans coupled with various programmes to ensure that
such
Linking Words
individuals
Use synonyms
 are given opportunities and care in order to prosper as better
individuals
Use synonyms
 and contribute positive outcomes to
society
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: