Many people today would argue that cinemas are becoming irrelevant due to new streaming services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cinemas #services

Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, some groups of humans would opine that movies, which are released on online platforms are easily available

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

can replace

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cinemas

. The new streaming

services

become more popular just because of accessibility

Change preposition

apply

show examples

anywhere and anytime and

also

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

have fewer expenses compared to theatres.

To begin

with

Add a comma

with,

show examples

the prime reason why

cinemas

are becoming irrelevant

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

of new streaming

services

, on various online websites, newly released movies and series are uploaded and after the launching those on

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, anyone can watch those at

comfortable

Add an article

a comfortable

show examples

place and

also

anytime.

In other words

, on online platforms, if any movie is released, people can download it and they can see it in their spare time and at their convenient location.

On the other hand

, if people prefer to watch it in

cinemas

, they have to go there as per the show-timing and

also

there is the possibility of facing some issues related to sitting areas and sound system.

Secondly

, the new streaming

services

provide some offers in their premiums.

Also

, in these premiums, more than one movie can be watched because they can give monthly, quarterly and yearly subscriptions.

For example

, Hotstar, Amazon Prime, etcetera.

In contrast

, in

cinemas

, if anyone buys one ticket, he/she would watch only that particular movie. The price of a ticket of theatre is almost equal to the 2 to

3 months

Correct your spelling

3-month

subscription plan of streaming

services

Hence

, online platforms are more relevant compared to

cinemas

. In conclusion, as per the above-mentioned reasons

such

as convenient place and time and affordable cost, the new streaming

services

are replacing the

cinemas

and I totally agree with the given statement.

Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on Tue Dec 20 2022

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task response

Address the task more directly and provide a more balanced argument instead of focusing solely on the advantages of streaming services.

coherence and cohesion

Include a clearer introduction and conclusion, as well as more explicit topic sentences in each paragraph to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Your opinion

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