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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many believe that success in life mainly depends on hard work and determination while others believe that factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance
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The majority of folk believe that hard
work
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 and determination are the keys to
success
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 in life while others believe that factors like
money
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 and demeanour are essential. I agree with the majority of
people
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 because
money
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 is a by-product of backbreaking
work
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. I will give my views on both opinions and examples of why I trust hard
work
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 and willpower. At
first
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, the reason why
people
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 consider welfare and superiority in appearance are the main factors that lead to
success
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 stems from opportunities provided by them.
This
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 is because
money
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 enables
people
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 to get quality education and confidence to achieve their goals.
For example
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, wealthy children can get standard schooling, which can assure a great future,
success
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 and opportunities rather than poor family children.
On the other hand
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, with hard
work
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 , and resolution a person can achieve any goals and
success
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. These two factors are essential traits of successful
people
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. Because they can turn any unfavourable conditions to their advantage.
For example
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, the famous soccer player Ronaldo.
Although
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 he grew up in a poor family, but with his determination and tough ,
work
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 he is one of the great players who played
this
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 game. With these , achievements he has
money
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 and everything. And
this
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 gives him confidence which improves his personality The conclusion of
this
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 essay is that
money
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 and personal appearance are the by-products of hard
work
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. So everyone should focus on goals and
work
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 hard with all of their willpower.
Submitted by mk937634 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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