Some peopl suggest that sport helps people learn about teamwork but others say it can encourage people to be too competitive. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A growing number of
people
are of the view that
sport
is
important
Add an article
an important
the important
show examples
thing which helps to learn how to
work
all together as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one
team.
However
, there are some who think that it is
too
Add an article
a too
show examples
competitive activity which can change a person’s character. From my perspective,
sport
is
one
of the most popular
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
where
people
can make a career due to which it is absolutely true that
people
can become more competitive. On the
one
hand, those who choose
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
sport
as a hobby are likely to learn how to
work
as a team. To be more specific, when there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
goals to become the best in a field of
sport
, individuals do that for fun. As a matter of fact, there are some activities
such
as volleyball or football where
people
can communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
each other.
Moreover
, they learn how to recognize
thoughts
Correct article usage
the thoughts
show examples
of other players along with having an understanding
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
to communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
each other during the play. Undeniably, having
such
skills and experience is vital in all spheres of life to build strong relationships with everyone including family members, colleagues or
boss
Fix the agreement mistake
bosses
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
in a professional way is believed to change
people
due to the fact that it is a competitive field of
work
. In fact,
sport
is
one
of the largest
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
in the world where
people
have to
work
hard and be the best to achieve great revenues.
Furthermore
, it is essential to
win
Change the verb form
winning
show examples
all the competitions to become popular among different
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
clubs. Undoubtedly,
people
are forced to be more
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
to realise all
the
Change the word
their
show examples
ambitions in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. To conclude, there are some who believe that
people
who
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
sport
can have valuable knowledge
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
to
work
in a team, while others suppose that
sport
makes
people
more aggressive. I am totally convinced that
although
it depends on whether
sport
Add an article
the sport
show examples
is professional or just a hobby, it is a truth that
people
can become more impatient because of the competition
sport
has.
Submitted by nejo.quol on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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