Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Generally, we are used to thinking, that everyone, who commits a crime must be in jail. But there are

people

, which opinions differ slightly They believe, that offenders can have

second

Add an article

a second

show examples

chance, so educational programs would be more effective than traditional punishments. Nowadays when the mind of mankind is wider, many

people

start to offer ways for real correction and comprehension of actions, unlike just sitting in prison. It would be useful for

criminals

as well as for society.

Furthermore

, staying in prison could cause psychological problems,because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

they will feel regret, anger, or revenge. Especially if they were wrongly judged or were beaten or murdered there. As you know, many

people

have died, which is

also

awry;due to these

facts

Add a comma

,facts

show examples

I support correctional education.

Nevertheless

, a sizeable part of

people

is still of the opinion, that

criminals

should be punished in prison. In fact,

people

who have killed,

robbed

Correct word choice

or robbed

show examples

impossible

Add a missing verb

are impossible

show examples

to justify or forgive.

Moreover

, offenders would continue to commit crimes if they are free. To sum up, as I see it,

criminals

must be ranked according to crime degree. Not all offenders worth to be at freedom. And

people

should evaluate their situation or actions so that

criminals

can reform.

Submitted by medetbaevk on Tue Dec 20 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

201 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Deterrent
Recidivism
Rehabilitation
Vocational training
Retributive justice
Reintegration
Taxpayers
Social isolation
Stigmatization
Criminal identity
Self-esteem
Public opinion
Societal gains
Offenders
Imprisonment
Cost-effective

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Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. many students are choosing to study online instead of face-to-face education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?