IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #offenders #prison #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Generally, we are used to thinking, that everyone, who commits a crime must be in jail. But there are
people
Use synonyms
, which opinions differ slightly They believe, that offenders can have a
second
Linking Words
 chance, so educational programs would be more effective than traditional punishments. Nowadays when the mind of mankind is wider, many
people
Use synonyms
 start to offer ways for real correction and comprehension of actions, unlike just sitting in prison. It would be useful for
criminals
Use synonyms
 as well as for society.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, staying in prison could cause psychological problems,because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they will feel regret, anger, or revenge. Especially if they were wrongly judged or were beaten or murdered there. As you know, many
people
Use synonyms
 have died, which is
also
Linking Words
 awry;due to these, facts I support correctional education.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a sizeable part of
people
Use synonyms
 is still of the opinion, that
criminals
Use synonyms
 should be punished in prison. In fact,
people
Use synonyms
 who have
killed
Add a missing verb
been killed
show examples
 or robbed are impossible to justify or forgive.
Moreover
Linking Words
, offenders would continue to commit crimes if they are free. To sum up, as I see it,
criminals
Use synonyms
 must be ranked according to crime degree. Not all offenders worth to be at freedom. And
people
Use synonyms
 should evaluate their situation or actions so that
criminals
Use synonyms
 can reform.
Submitted by medetbaevk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrent
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Vocational training
  • Retributive justice
  • Reintegration
  • Taxpayers
  • Social isolation
  • Stigmatization
  • Criminal identity
  • Self-esteem
  • Public opinion
  • Societal gains
  • Offenders
  • Imprisonment
  • Cost-effective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: